IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

it is thought by some that computers are more of hinderance than a help in society. others believe that they are such indispensable device that people would not be able to live or work in their absence. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#computers #hinderance #help #society #device #people #work #absence
A section of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 believes that technology
resist
Verb problem
prevents
show examples
 us
to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
 something rather than providing assistance in any field.
However
, others argue that a person cannot imagine life without their existence. Both arguments need proper scrutiny before forming any opinion and I would like to explicate in the paragraphs to come. On the one hand, the advocates of the first view
deems
Change the verb form
deem
show examples
 that
computers
 are
resisting
Verb problem
preventing
show examples
 people
to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
 something in society. The main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 argument is dependability. Humans are so
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
dependant
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on machines that they do not want to do something by themselves. Folks do not put
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
 manual effort to get
desired
Correct article usage
the desired
show examples
 results.
For example
, two neighbours prefer to communicate through
computers
instead
 of
meet
Wrong verb form
meeting
show examples
 one another personally.
As a result
,
computers
 resist them to go outside because of
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
show examples
 facility in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
However
, people who argue that life is impossible without
computers
 have their own valid points. Most of the difficult tasks
has
Verb problem
are
show examples
 done by these
computers
.
For example
, from basic calculation to rocket science, all problems
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been solved with the help of
computers
.
Computers
 are imperative in every field.
In addition
 to it,
weatherman
Fix the agreement mistake
weathermen
show examples
 forecast weather with the help of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
. Considering all these factors, a person cannot imagine lives without
conputers
Correct your spelling
computers
 as it provides a lot of facilities which are helpful in growing the business. In the end,
although
,
computers
 have some demerits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
resisting
Verb problem
preventing
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
to do
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
 something by themselves
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, considering the positive factors of technology. I am
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the opinion that life is impossible without
computers
.
Submitted by MANPREET130KAUR on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: