IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that they have the right to use as much as fresh water they want, others believe government should control the use of water as it limited sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #right #water #government #control #sources
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There is no denying the fact that
water
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 is one of the most important resources.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some individuals believe that fresh
water
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 is for everyone to use as much as they want, there is
also
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 an argument that the
government
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 should try to keep fresh
water
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 for future generations.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, there are individuals who believe that the taste is better in fresh
water
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 so they want to drink it more.
In other words
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, unlike unfresh
water
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, it has some metallic taste.
In addition
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, nowadays we have devices
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to transfer unfresh
water
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 to fresh
water
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,
For example
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, it uses a filter with 3 processes to make the
water
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 as fresh as possible.
On the other hand
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, there are individuals who think that the
government
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 should intervene because they believe and put some laws, it is
also
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 possible to say that, they believe that it is limited so if they leave them as they like someday will not remain any
water
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 it will be the end of humanity.
Moreover
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, the plant has the right to use fresh
water
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 to help it grow beautifully.
For instance
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, If the
government
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 every month give medals to those who helped it will make a difference and encourage others to be like them. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that fresh drink is one of the most crucial resources to make the earth
last
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 longer and
also
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 help humanity in having a healthy life so yes I think the
government
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 should make programs to help in
this
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 matter.
Submitted by abdelaah.12 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the two views that will be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Expand on the arguments supporting each view and provide more supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to indicate the main ideas of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion summarises the main points and clearly states your opinion.
grammatical range accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical errors and improve overall grammatical accuracy.
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