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Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #films #computers #games #books
Books
 have been an essential tool for
students
' education.
However
, there are other resources that can replace
books
 like films,
computers
 and games. From my perspective, these can be a perfect alternative to replace
books
. Nowadays,
due to
 the fast technology development, many people (especially the young ones) prefer using electronic devices
such
 as
computers
instead
 of traditional ones like
books
.
This
 has made an impact on their education too, some
students
 now prefer electronic resources rather than physical ones. A perfect example is that
students
 choose to look up
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any information they need on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
instead
 of going to the library and searching it in
books
, Google is the perfect proof of
this
.
On the other hand
, if schools decide to include the use of films,
computers
 or videogames they can encourage the
students
 to learn in a different way which can be beneficial for their education. Unlike
books
, electronic devices are more flexible because they allow people to process information in an easier way,
while
 with
books
 all your learning relies on your imagination.
For example
, if a student is not good at reading because he can not concentrate well or imagine what he is reading, he can watch a movie or find a video on the internet explaining it and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he will learn the topic earlier. The
more
Correct article usage
The more
show examples
 flexible an educational resource is, the easier will be for the student to learn.
Books
 will always be a fundamental tool for
students
while
 learning, but because everyone has a different process of learning, schools should include films,
computers
 and games in their educational system.
Submitted by dannie.sanval on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure. Make sure to have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas lack development and clarity. Make sure to support your main points with relevant examples and provide a clear explanation of your viewpoints.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary and expressions to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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