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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#information #railway #systems #six #cities #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table provides underground railway systems information in six different cities based on the date opened,
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of route, and
passengers
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 (in millions).
Overall
Linking Words
, Washington DC has the highest route development per
year
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, Tokyo services more
passengers
Use synonyms
 than others and has the highest proportion of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per
kilometre
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Kyoto is the less crowded underground train system and Los Angeles scored the lowest services in
passengers
Use synonyms
 per
kilometre
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
 the system was built in 1976, Washington DC experienced the highest rate of route creation per
year
Use synonyms
 with almost 3
kilometres
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 per
year
Use synonyms
, followed by London (approximately 2,5
kilometres
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 per
year
Use synonyms
), Paris and Tokyo (slightly under 1,5
kilometres
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 per years), Los Angeles (roughly 1
kilometre
Use synonyms
 per years), and Kyoto (below 0,5
kilometres
Use synonyms
 per years).
In addition
Linking Words
, Tokyo is marked as the pinnacle in
passengers
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 per
year
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 with 1927
million
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 per
year
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 and almost 12
million
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passengers
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 per
kilometre
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 per
year
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, and Kyoto is the lowest with 45
million
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passengers
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 per
year
Use synonyms
. Yet, Los Angeles scored the lowest passenger per
kilometre
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 with no more than 2
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, passengers, year, kilometre, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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