IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The health benefits of physical exercises are well known. Despite this, many people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise regularly?

#health #exercises #people #exercise
Despite the scientifically proven advantages of physical
exercises
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not committed to
maintain
Verb problem
apply
show examples
engaging in
such
activities
.
This
 essay will explain the reasons behind
this
 phenomenon and offer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suggestions to promote
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 active lifestyle. On one hand, many
people
 are aware of the importance of physical
activities
 as they have direct impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health quality. Doing
exercises
 carries a wide array of benefits,
such
 as maintaining body weight, stabilizing blood pressure, and even reducing stress. A lot of studies found
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
people
 who move a lot have higher life expectancy than those who do not.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 level, the nations that encourage their citizens to walk or use public transportation have
relatively
Add an article
a relatively
show examples
 better quality of life as compared to nations whose citizens prefer to drive.
On the other hand
,
people
 find exercising exhausting and painful,
therefore
 discouraging them
to remain
Change preposition
from remaining
show examples
 consistent in doing
such
activities
. The aftermath of doing
exercises
 or
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 is oftentimes uncomfortable for many because their body parts can feel the pressure of doing unusual movements.
For instance
, if someone
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 weightlifting, their arms and hands can be numb and sore afterwards.
Consequently
,
people
 tend to give up doing sports or
exercises
 so as to they can avoid the negative impacts of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, it is essential to promote more physical
activities
 because they bring more good than harm. One of the methods is to raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness of the importance of
exercises
 through social media. Anyone can come up with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
show examples
 that show their physical condition before and after the
exercises
.
Hence
, more
people
 will witness the real impact of
exercises
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body.
In addition
 to that,
people
 must be encouraged to choose the types of exercise they would enjoy.
This
 way,
people
 will have more
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
 to go through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uncomfortable circumstances when doing
exercises
.
Submitted by tnindrasetiawan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: