Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people today
argured
Correct your spelling
argued
argue
that students
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
whatever
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
should do extra chores
such
as doing
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
or at work.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
others suppose that they should be free to do what they want
besides
going to school. In my view, the latter option is appealing for some reasons. On the one hand, extra
responsibilties
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
can help
chilrden
Correct your spelling
children
learn more soft skills that
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
reality life
such
as washing machines, doing
laundary
Correct your spelling
laundry
,
working
Correct word choice
and working
show examples
with office information. These
things
Add a verb
things are
things were
show examples
likely to aid
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
survival when living alone.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, students can earn money from these works. The wages from
this
can probably create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independence for
chilrdern
Correct your spelling
children
and
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
in probability
relying
Change preposition
of relying
show examples
on their parents.
On the other hand
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe it would be more
benificials
Correct your spelling
beneficial
when
Correct word choice
if
show examples
students
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
permited
Correct your spelling
permitted
to be free
enjoy
Fix the infinitive
to enjoy
show examples
their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
First,
the pressure in school causes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerious
Correct your spelling
numerous
problems for them and classes take a lot of
time
from their schedule.
As a result
, they do not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
time
for themself in order to entertain. So they deserve to take
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
or do their own things after a long day in school
This
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
as a remedy for their mental health.
Second,
if they have more
time
for themself,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
certainly will discover their interests,
ablities
Correct your spelling
abilities
,
strengths
Correct word choice
and strengths
show examples
. From that, they can
pursuit
Replace the word
pursue
show examples
their favourite
hoobies
Correct your spelling
hobbies
and enhance their
personnality
Correct your spelling
personality
traits.
Finally
, In conclusion, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
to me that student should
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
their favour things to do if
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
have free
time
that
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
extra jobs that they do not really want.
Submitted by nn.dieuquynh on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay. Make sure your ideas flow logically and are connected to each other.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant and specific examples.
task achievement
Ensure that your response addresses all aspects of the given task.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Avoid vague or unclear statements.
grammatical range accuracy
Use appropriate grammar and sentence structures. Check for errors and revise accordingly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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