IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born.What might be the reason for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#people #lives #reason
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In the modern world, the
decision
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 on the
place
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 to live depends on multiple variables. It could be
due to
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 the
place
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 of work,
place
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 of education, and other amenities in micro terms.
However
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, in
additon
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addition
 to the individual micro factors, macro factors have a strong holding in
this
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decision
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.
Such
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 as, economic, social, political, technological and many more.
Nevertheless
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, some love to stay where they
have
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were
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 born, mostly
due to
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 the emotional attachments.
Such
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 a
decision
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 has advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages. The purpose of
this
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 essay is to analyse them in detail. There are many advantages
in
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to
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 staying in the same location,
prominantly
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prominently
predominantly
 the social
network
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. In the present
context
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context,
show examples
 social
network
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 is of high value.
For instance
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, a person needs
a
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apply
show examples
considerable time to understand
a
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the
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 specific social context of a new location. Because, in most
cases
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cases,
show examples
 the cultural practices and customs are different from one
place
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 to another even within the same country. But for a person who
was
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has been
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 living there since birth has a minimum challenge in
manageing
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managing
 the social
network
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.
In contrast
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, there are many disadvantages of living in one
place
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 throughout the life spam.
For example
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, a person who used to live in
a
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the
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 same location could be in the comfort zone and will not be flexible to move to different locations.
As a
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result
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result,
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 he/she could
loose
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lose
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 many development opportunities.
Further
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,
this
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leads to impede
Verb problem
impedes
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 the ability to cope with different social contexts. In summary, continuing to live in the born city has positives and negatives.
Positive
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The positive
show examples
 side would be the strong social
network
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 and the negative side would be
lossing
Verb problem
the loss
show examples
 of
opportunites
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opportunities
due to
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 being in the comfort zone.
Finally
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, the
decision
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 on the
place
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 of stay depends on one's personal perception and objectives.
Submitted by nhicsenaratne on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Watch out for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Settlement
  • Hometown
  • Roots
  • Community
  • Emotional attachment
  • Sense of familiarity
  • Social network
  • Bond
  • Safety
  • Proximity
  • Support system
  • Heritage
  • Limited options
  • Risk aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Unfamiliarity
  • Exploration
  • Adventurous spirit
What to do next:
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