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Band 5.5

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

#coffee #shops #fast-food #vendors #streets #town #centres #outlets #effect #society
The
food
 industry over the past few years has grown large. Resulting in an increase in the number of cafes and street
food
 hubs. In the following essay, the causes of
this
 rise and its impact on today's society will be discussed. To start with the
coffee
 shops sector every age of people loves to drink
coffee
due to
this
 high demand in the
coffee
 sector.
Accordingly
, in the
coffee
 itself, many varieties as been created like thickness in the
coffee
 and young people's spot nowadays
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
coffee
 shop
current
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
generation and old people in a
coffee
 shop early morning.
Furthermore
, these retails are becoming hangout spots for teenagers and young adults,
as well as
, common places for reunions and for casual meetings to be held.
Secondly
, fast-
food
 many of them are addicted towards
this
 because of the taste and the young generation's saviour is fast
food
 by
this
 person's health will be damaged and their life span will be decreased
according to
 how we eat because the products
while
 cooking are unhygienic but many of them eating and side effects will happen in small age but many of them go to that kind of restaurant only because the human mentality is that. Many of them love junk
food
 was an immense current generation.
On the other hand
, the effect it is has a vast variety. I conclude, that because of the demand in the market for
coffee
 shops and fast
food
 in public, these shops are rising because everyone can eat with a limit because it's not fair to do
this
 every day.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically in each paragraph to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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