IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

#coffee #shops #fast-food #vendors #streets #town #centres #outlets #effect #society
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The
food
Use synonyms
 industry over the past few years has grown large. Resulting in an increase in the number of cafes and street
food
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 hubs. In the following essay, the causes of
this
Linking Words
 rise and its impact on today's society will be discussed. To start with the
coffee
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 shops sector every age of people loves to drink
coffee
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due to
Linking Words
this
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 high demand in the
coffee
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 sector.
Accordingly
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, in the
coffee
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 itself, many varieties as been created like thickness in the
coffee
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 and young people's spot nowadays
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
coffee
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 shop
current
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
generation and old people in a
coffee
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 shop early morning.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these retails are becoming hangout spots for teenagers and young adults,
as well as
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, common places for reunions and for casual meetings to be held.
Secondly
Linking Words
, fast-
food
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 many of them are addicted towards
this
Linking Words
 because of the taste and the young generation's saviour is fast
food
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 by
this
Linking Words
 person's health will be damaged and their life span will be decreased
according to
Linking Words
 how we eat because the products
while
Linking Words
 cooking are unhygienic but many of them eating and side effects will happen in small age but many of them go to that kind of restaurant only because the human mentality is that. Many of them love junk
food
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 was an immense current generation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the effect it is has a vast variety. I conclude, that because of the demand in the market for
coffee
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 shops and fast
food
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 in public, these shops are rising because everyone can eat with a limit because it's not fair to do
this
Linking Words
 every day.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically in each paragraph to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for clarity and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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