IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people today prefer to socialise online rather than spend time with friends in the local community. To what extent do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#people #socialise #time #friends #community
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 like to chat online with their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 would
like
Add the particle
like to
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 talk with some close
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 in the local area. From my point of view, I
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
 with the latter view and my supportive idea will be shown in the following paragraphs before the conclusion inclined.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 nowadays
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 tend to live in the online world longer than the previous time
due to
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 the development of technologies that living in the daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 of
eveyone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 so we cannot escape from these things.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 have to work
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the technology and internet almost
of
Correct pronoun usage
all of
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 the time so
this
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 is like the thing that we are familiar with.
Next,
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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are providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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convenience which
were
Correct your spelling
where
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can talk together even though they are in long-distance
relashionship
Correct your spelling
relationships
relationship
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation costs are the thing that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not important anymore. By the way, as we can see
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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comunicating
Correct your spelling
communicating
 online might
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a lot of benefits but for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some aspects of our relationships
that
Correct word choice
apply
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there
are not
Verb problem
is
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anything
Correct pronoun usage
nothing
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 better than facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real
people
Use synonyms
 because we can sense the feeling of emotion, atmosphere, and expression.
Second,
Linking Words
having the activity together was
such
Linking Words
 a beautiful moment and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
improved our mental health by joining the other community that was the reason why we are social
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
.
Lastly
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, in the long term spending time together will keep our
ralationships
Correct your spelling
relationships
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
longer by taking care
each
Change preposition
of each
show examples
 other and having some valuable moments in some good places. To
summaries
Replace the word
summarise
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, chatting on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits but
we
Correct word choice
if we
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 want to keep our
ralationships
Correct your spelling
relationships
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
longer we should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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live together and find some good moments in the relationship.
Submitted by ChampJT on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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