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Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activity . others feel that human activity makes the earth a better place to live in . what is your opinion

#people #earth #activity #place
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A section of people
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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 that human actions are continuously devastating the
earth
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that human involvement makes
Use synonyms
Add an article
the earth
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earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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a better place to reside by decreasing its deterioration rate. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
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 need
a
Remove the article
apply
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proper scrutiny before forming an opinion. I would like to explicate in the paragraphs to come. The advocates of the first view deem that human actions are damaging the
earth
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, new technology helps us in many ways, agriculture is one of them. Scientists regularly
analyzing
Wrong verb form
analyse
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this
Linking Words
 section to find better ways of growing crops. Mostly farmers use chemicals in their fields to proliferate the yield in less time which fulfills people's needs. These chemicals stay in the field for a long time because it takes a long period to integrate with the soil.
consequently
Linking Words
,
soil
Add an article
the soil
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 gets negatively impacted and starts losing its quality. The opposite school of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
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 argues that human actions are making
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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 a better place to reside. To explain it, there is no doubt that advanced technology improves the quality of life. But new technology needs a lot of raw material in order to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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successfully on
the
Correct article usage
a
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 daily basis
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 example, trains ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cable wires and mobile phones.
Raw
Add an article
The raw
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 material used for these products
,
Remove the comma
apply
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dumped
Add a missing verb
was dumped
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 into
river
Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
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 or
canal
Fix the agreement mistake
canals
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along with
Linking Words
 other gases which later on mixed up with other gases in the environment.
As a result
Linking Words
,
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 becomes a victim of greenhouse
efect
Correct your spelling
effect
 and acid rain. Considering that,
earth
Use synonyms
 is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
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 place to live if surroundings do not
suffers
Change the verb form
suffer
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 negatively
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human deeds. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 eath suffers from a lot of damage
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human involvement which in turn, affects the human and quality of life they are living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by MANPREET130KAUR on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
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