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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Teacher think that international students exchange would be beneficial for all teenager school students. Do you think it's advantages outweigh it's disadvantages?

#teacher #students #exchange #teenager #school
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Nowadays international
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students
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student
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exchange
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programmes
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 are pervasive
,
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apply
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 because nations believe that those
opporunities
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opportunities
 are a great chance to
exchange
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with
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apply
show examples
cultural values. There is an opinion among teachers that international
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students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
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exchange
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programms
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programmes
programs
 have merits for
teenager
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teenage
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 school
students
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. It has both advantages and disadvantages. I, personally think advantages
outpower
Verb problem
outweigh
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 disadvantages. On the one hand,
exchange
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programmes
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 are beneficial in case to develop
teenager's
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teenagers'
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 flexibility and independence, because living
in
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with
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the
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another
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other
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apply
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family will get them ready
to
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for
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the
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apply
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life without
parents'
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their parents'
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 support. Kids will be taught about how to face life problems that they did not even care
before
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about before
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.
For example
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, if they get sick they will have to learn to take medicine by themselves, so they will become flexible to any kind of circumstances. Another advantage to mention is getting to discover a new culture. Living in another country provides
students
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 a chance to live in a different custom with unknown traditions. It is very
advantegous
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advantageous
 for every young human, because it broadens his horizons.
For instance
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, there is an
exchange
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 programme called "FLEX" that lets school
students
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to
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apply
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live as
an
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apply
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american
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American
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teenager
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teenagers
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 for a whole year. Thousands of participants from post-USSR countries claim that the year abroad offered them a big change in scenery and that they met a lot of new friends they still keep in touch with.
On the other hand
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, living with a host family has downsides. For
students
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 who are more
introverted
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introverted,
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 it is really
stressing
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stressful
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 to get used to a new place. Despite all of the
pros
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pros,
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 90% of
students
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 who flew oceans for
this
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 opportunity feel homesick which might cause depression.
Furthermore
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, international
exhange
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exchange
programmes
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 can cause the chance of forgetting
native
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the native
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 language. In conclusion, in spite of
cons
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the cons
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 pros outstrip
cons
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the cons
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. From my point of view, international
exchange
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programmes
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 are a good way to brighten life with colours of opportunities.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are supported with sufficient explanation and detail.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to create a better flow and improve readability.
grammatical range accuracy
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and improve your use of punctuation marks.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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