Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are requiered. Discuss both these views and your own opinion.
One group of
Use synonyms
poeple
claim that Correct your spelling
people
that
increasing the Remove the redundancy
apply
abandance
Correct your spelling
abundance
of
sports facilities is the most effective method of improving the Change preposition
on
coumminity's
Correct your spelling
community's
health
Use synonyms
while
others say different ways Linking Words
needed
to be approached. In my opinion, I believe that Wrong verb form
need
engage
in Wrong verb form
engaging
physical
form of activities on a daily basis can have a huge impact on Add an article
the physical
Use synonyms
community's
both Correct article usage
a community's
mentall
and physical Correct your spelling
mental
mentally
health
. Use synonyms
However
, I agree that implementations like being educated on Linking Words
Use synonyms
health
diets and disease conditions can be helpful too.
Replace the word
healthy
Due to
the advancement of technologies and busy and hectic work life Linking Words
Use synonyms
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
has
embraced a sedentary lifestyle which Correct subject-verb agreement
have
makes
both mental and physical Verb problem
puts
health
Use synonyms
being
at risk of deterioration. Most children nowadays are spending their afterschool hours watching Unnecessary verb
apply
televisions
and playing video games rather than playing outside with friends. Making sports Fix the agreement mistake
television
centers
abundantly in Change the spelling
centres
a
area with different types of sports to practice or to engage in physical exercises like yoga or aerobic exercises will influence the Change the article
an
community
to perform and Use synonyms
enroll
in activities. Change the spelling
enrol
For example
, establishing exercise machines near the park or a jogging path in my area has made many Linking Words
Use synonyms
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
to
come for Fix the infinitive
apply
thier
morning jog. They even tend to Correct your spelling
their
accompanied
Wrong verb form
accompany
with
Change preposition
apply
thier
children as children go and play on the exercise machine which increases Correct your spelling
their
htier
physical activity levels Correct your spelling
their
as well as
Linking Words
improving
their mental Wrong verb form
improves
health
.
But, Physical activities may not address Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
every one
in the Replace the word
everyone
community
as many may not prefer doing strenuous exercises Use synonyms
and
may be Correct word choice
which
due to
Linking Words
illnessess
. Correct your spelling
illnesses
illness
Therefore
, other healthy measures like advocating for non-communicable diseases and Linking Words
benefits
of healthy diets can be done through Correct article usage
the benefits
televisions
. Programmes like these can influence Fix the agreement mistake
television
Use synonyms
poeple
to eat healthy fresh foods rather than processed foods. The Correct your spelling
people
governement
can impose bans or increase taxes Correct your spelling
government
for
the Change preposition
on
ciggarretts
and alcohol and Correct your spelling
cigarettes
fat rich
foods in the market.
In conclusion, Add a hyphen
fat-rich
road
to a healthy life in a Add an article
the road
community
Use synonyms
do
not solely depend on physical Change the verb form
does
activies
and adopting other healthy measures Correct your spelling
activities
activity
in to
their Join the words
into
lifestlyes
individually can make the population free from Correct your spelling
lives
dieases
.Correct your spelling
diseases
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issue
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion to your essay.
content
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
content
Provide a balanced discussion by presenting the counter argument more clearly.
language
Improve the coherence and cohesion by using appropriate transition words and phrases.
language
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite