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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours in a British university library are spent by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to other students.

The three pie charts illustrate how many hours in a British university library are spent by undergraduates and postgraduates compared to other students.
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The three pie charts illustrate how many
hours
Use synonyms
 are spent by undergraduates and
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 in
compared
Replace the word
comparison
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 to all
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 in the library of the British university.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 stay
in
Change preposition
apply
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longest
Replace the word
longer
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 than all others.
For example
Linking Words
, 51 per cent of
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 are in it over fifteen
hours
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 undergraduates just one in ten and the average
students
Use synonyms
 a little bit more - one in seven. But what is
Add an article
a wonder
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wonder
Wrong verb form
wondering
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,
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 number of
students
Use synonyms
 who are passing from 8 to 14
hours
Use synonyms
 is approximately close in all groups and
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
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 exceed 35 per cent, at the same time close to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
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 of the undergraduates spend no more than 7
hours
Use synonyms
 for his work in the library,
furthermore
Linking Words
 only
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
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 of the common
students
Use synonyms
 pass as
mush
Correct your spelling
much
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. What about
postgraduates
Use synonyms
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a tiny minority, how can afford it
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 93%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, postgraduates, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trends
  • Significant figures
  • Distribution
  • Comparison
  • Study habits
  • Preferences
  • Distance learners
  • Continuing education
  • Course requirements
  • Research needs
  • Resource allocation
  • Implications
  • Undergraduates
  • Postgraduates
  • Analyzing
  • Highlighting
  • Examining
  • Reviewing
  • Drawing comparisons
  • Summarizing
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