IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The given line graph illustrates a shift in temperature experienced in a month by three different countries namely Paris, Dubai, and Sydney in a given year.

The given line graph illustrates a shift in temperature experienced in a month by three different countries namely Paris, Dubai, and Sydney in a given year.
We can see in the line graph that we have three Citise from different countries whose
Use synonyms
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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 differ over the course of
year
Add an article
the year
a year
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. Looking at the information in more detail, in January,
Paris
Use synonyms
 had a lower
temperature
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 in
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 compared to the other two cities,
as
Change preposition
at
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 the same time
Dubai
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 and
Sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
, the
temperature
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 was
moderatically
Correct your spelling
operatically
 20 and 25c.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in February, the
temperature
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 began to rise gradually and was 6c in
Paris
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 until
acssed
Correct your spelling
accessed
 to 15c in
august
Capitalize word
August
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,
also
Linking Words
 in
Dubai
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 go up from 20c to 35c, unlike Sydney, which had decreased from 24c to 14c in July. Based on that, in September
this
Linking Words
 was the turning point when the
temperature
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 dropped until it reached 5 in
Paris
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 and 21 in
Dubai
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, but the situation was different in Sydney, which
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
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 in July until it reached approximately 23c. In conclusion, the Cities of
Paris
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 and
Dubai
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 are similar in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 rocketed and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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, except Sydney was
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, paris, dubai, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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