IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In today’s world, It is generally believed that the most significant goals of
science
Use synonyms
 development cause to improve people's
lives
Use synonyms
. In
this
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 situation, I completely concur with
this
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 statement and will provide a few opinions below. The first reason for my belief is that it
has
Verb problem
is
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 more beneficial for health sciences. To explain, with
science
Use synonyms
's technological development , we found more effective ways to treat
terminally
Correct article usage
the terminally
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 ill
such
Linking Words
 as more new methods, and medicine.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, we may treat cancer
for
Change preposition
apply
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extremely effectively which will help thousands of
persons
Replace the word
people
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 who are struggling to save their
lives
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. In the past, when
science
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have been
Wrong verb form
was
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 not developed, we
had
Verb problem
did
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 not any
extrermely
Correct your spelling
extreme
 methods for treating cancer.
Therefore
Linking Words
, improving
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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technology
science
Use synonyms
 which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 to
patient's
Fix the agreement mistake
patients'
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 life will be safer. Another reason supporting my view is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
's goals can cause personal economics will be more developed.
To begin
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 with, there are many social platforms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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created by scientists which help every
businessmen
Change to a singular noun
businessman
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 can exchange information faster.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the past, when
it does not have
Verb problem
there were
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any
Correct determiner usage
no
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 social platforms, we had many difficulties
to exchange
Change the verb form
exchanging
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 information
during
Change preposition
while
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 working or wanting to understand our partners.
As a result
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,
with
Change preposition
apply
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a
science
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 strongly, it makes our have more beneficial to develop economics. In conclusion, it is generally believed that the most significant
goals
Fix the agreement mistake
goal
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 of
science
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 improve
people'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives
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. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because of
improving
Replace the word
the improvement
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 of health sciences and personal economics. It is advisable for many people
be
Add the particle
to be
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 able to gain more happiness
for
Change preposition
in
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 their
lives
Use synonyms
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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