The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land an in sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

#species #activities #land #sea

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There is a crisis that various species of animals are on the verge of extinction

due to

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exploitative and abusive human activities

such

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as overgrazing, hunting, and deforestation.

This

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essay will uphold the viewpoint that the underestimated importance of ecological balance contributes to

such

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circumstances. Without changes in legal and ideological systems, it is hard to ameliorate the status quo. It is undeniable that the lack of critical awareness of how sustainable development is indispensable to the well-being of humans brings harm to fauna. In fact, boosting economic growth at the expense of animal populations has become more justified than ever before, particularly under the discursive impacts of neoliberalism that

emphasizes

Change the verb form

emphasize

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economic gains.

For example

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, the reason why overfishing is still threatening the survival of some marine predators is that depletion of natural resources will not be deemed morally wrong if the prospect of financial benefits is guaranteed. To overcome

this

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predicament, governments that have the power to influence social behaviour should be responsible for enacting more strict laws as a deterrence.

For instance

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, in some countries, there are legislations stipulating that people who engage in shooting endangered species could be accused of serious crimes.

Consequently

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, it is predictable that the populations of these animals will be augmented and

Unnecessary verb

apply

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restored to a safe level because potential charges may prevent some people from abusive hunting.

Additionally

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, media and non-governmental organizations should

also

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be mobilized to raise the environmental awareness of the public by campaigning through diverse ways

such

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as delivering speeches in political elections and advocating for more establishments of conservatories. In conclusion, both over-emphasis on economic development and neglect of ecological balance are real culprits of some fauna’s extinction.

Thus

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, various stakeholders including governments, society, media, and the public should make a concerted effort to address

this

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issue.

Submitted by zhouxianzheng056 on Thu Oct 12 2023

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task achievement

Expand on the reasons for animal species becoming extinct due to human activities. Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are well-connected and the essay flows smoothly. Use linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to incorporate more academic language in your essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to improve accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land an in sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?