IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

People think museum and galleries should work for local artists rather than the other countries. Do you agree?

2.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Today
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 and galleries display many
work
Change to a plural noun
works
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
 but most
from
Add a missing verb
are from
show examples
foreigners
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
artists
Use synonyms
. Personally, I believe
to focus
Change preposition
that focusing
show examples
 on maintaining and supporting local
artists
Use synonyms
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more practical values. Maintaining local
artists
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 keeping
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 people
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
unique
Replace the word
uniqueness
show examples
 of the
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with. Each nation has
unique
Add an article
a unique
show examples
 culture,
this
Linking Words
 characteristic is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 clearly
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the work of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
. Supporting
locals
Change the noun form
local
show examples
artists
Use synonyms
 contributes
Change preposition
to
show examples
that characteristic.
For example
Linking Words
, Vietnam is
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ceramics works of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, supporting local
artists
Use synonyms
 has a positive effect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the economy. By displaying the local
artist
Change noun form
artist's
show examples
 art products
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 opportunities for them to
exchanging
Wrong verb form
exchange
show examples
 currency.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand they
also
Linking Words
 are recognized by
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big motivation for them to develop their career.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
. I totally agree that supporting local
artists
Use synonyms
 is extremely practical and clear. I hope the government
also
Linking Words
 consider
this
Linking Words
 so that local work of
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
 are displayed more in museums or galleries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: