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Band 4.5

computers are part of study what do you agree or disagree

#computers #part #study
Smart gadgets are an essential part of study
such
 as computers
as well as
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
. I believe that
this
 technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 to ameliorate
panache
Correct article usage
the panache
show examples
 of
students
.
However
, there are some downsides, which I will consider now. Arguably, there could be reasons why computers possess negative aspects.
Initially
, if
students
 utilize
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
as studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
, they can find materials to perform homework,
as a result
, youngsters will be lethargic.
Furthermore
, online game is developing day by day in order
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 most pupils
allocate
Fix the infinitive
to allocate
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 time for game, by which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean that notwithstanding during the lesson, some
students
 may engage in game through social media and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lose their focus.
For instance
, there are numerous young people
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 active on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in the worldwide. On the positive side, the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
assessment
Replace the word
assess
show examples
 and
coursework
Add a missing verb
do coursework
show examples
 on a computer means that work can be saved safely and transported from place to place. Before the arrival of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, tutors and
students
 had files and books for study purposes
therefore
 they carried the heavy
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
load, now owing to computers,
students
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, who can exploit
this gadgets
Change the determiner
this gadget
these gadgets
show examples
 for study
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are extremely comfortable.
Moreover
, lectures and learning materials can be made available online,
hence
 pupils can learn from the internet without teachers because occasionally
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 are sick or having
gathering
Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
show examples
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the schools. Alternatively,
this
 is likely to engage
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 wider range of
students
 as it has
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to cater for a wider range of learning styles.
For example
, if
students
 could not listen to
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
show examples
 during the lesson, they would watch
video
Add an article
the video
a video
show examples
 in regards to that theme via laptop. In a nutshell,
own
Verb problem
apply
show examples
my feelings are that
although
 there are potential drawbacks, they are outweighed by positives
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the organization and structure of your essay. Use clear topic sentences and supporting evidence for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and fully address the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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