IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think charity organizations should help people in great need wherever they live. However, others think they should help people in their own country. Discuss both opinions and give your own idea.

#people #charity #organizations #country #idea
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The latest debate is whether
charity
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organizations
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 should be responsible for
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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people
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 are not from their
country
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. Some
groups
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 support the
idea
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of
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that
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charity
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organizations
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 should only help
individuals
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 in their
country
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. Alongside
this
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, other
groups
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 of
people
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 tend to believe that
charity
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organizations
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 need to consider helping
people
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 wherever they live without any discrimination. In
this
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 essay, both opinions are going to be discussed.
Firstly
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, the
idea
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 that
charity
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groups
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 should help only
individuals
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 from their own
country
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 is a better way to complete the organization`s ambition.
This
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 belief may be correct if
people
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 who live in their
country
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 are more helpless than any other nation. Because who would like to help another group of
people
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 when your
people
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 demand more help?
This
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 reason is understandable.
However
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,
out of
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for
show examples
this
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 reason, I don`t think there is a meaningful one to lean on for
this
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 opinion.
Secondly
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, another group of
people
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 support the
idea
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of
Change preposition
that
show examples
charity
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groups
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 should help
individuals
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 where they live. It`s not a surprise that
this
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 opinion has more supporters because it is considered more ethical. When you look at the purpose of establishing a
charity
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 organization,
this
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idea
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 is on point. Because helping
people
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 doesn`t include discrimination. In my point of view, supporting
people
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 who need money, food and accommodation without giving attention to their religion, race or status is the nature of being a real
charity
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 organization.
This
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 means that
charity
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organizations
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 around the world should consider helping
people
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 in their region even though those
people
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 are not from their
country
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.
Besides
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this
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, if
individuals
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 from their
country
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 need more help than
people
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 where they live currently, they don`t need to feel pressure to help
people
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 in their own
country
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.
Submitted by fyzalkac on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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