IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Q. In some countries, celebrities complain about the way the media publicizes their private lives. Some people say that they should accept it as part of their fame. Do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable for prominent
people
Use synonyms
 to have a lot of attention from the public.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some famous individuals make a complaint to the media in order to
have their
Verb problem
set
show examples
 boundaries. Some
people
Use synonyms
 insist that they have to admit
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon as part of their fame.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
This
Linking Words
 is because famous
people
Use synonyms
 have a right to have private space in their
lives
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they might be victims of criminals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, eminent
people
Use synonyms
 have a right to have their own space in their daily
lives
Use synonyms
. In fact, everyone needs a private room where they can be protected from external factors
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 famous
people
Use synonyms
. Having a boundary plays a pivotal role in
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
. When
people
Use synonyms
's rights are invaded by other elements, they might be able to have mental issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression, anxiety, and so on. To cite an example, some
celebrities
Use synonyms
 in South Korea struggle with their mental problems since they do not have enough
space
Check wording
time
show examples
 for their schedule. They protest to media companies to stop posting their life in order to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem. Sometimes, they have medicines or conduct sessions to deal with their stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
This
Fix capitalization
this
show examples
 situation might lead their fandoms to have a sense of worry and a lot of entertainment companies to lose their assets as prominent
people
Use synonyms
 in our society.
In addition
Linking Words
,
celebrities
Use synonyms
 might be able to become victims of awful
people
Use synonyms
. The number of criminals has been increasing nowadays
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
, called a
stoker
Use the right word
stalker
show examples
, cross the private rooms. They are more likely to invade eminent
people
Use synonyms
's daily
lives
Use synonyms
 by following their schedules every single day and taking a majority of pictures. Sometimes, they even attack
celebrities
Use synonyms
 physically.
For example
Linking Words
, there was a serious crime in China. One prominent actress, named Wan
Wei
Punctuation problem
Wei,
show examples
 was captured by a stoker. The criminal said that he was able to check her life by watching
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 news all the time.
This
Linking Words
 means that too much information about
celebrities
Use synonyms
'
lives
Use synonyms
 might cause detrimental situations for them
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
stoking
Use the right word
stalking
show examples
, captures, and so on.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is evident that some
people
Use synonyms
 reckon that they deserve to monitor
celebrities
Use synonyms
'
lives
Use synonyms
 because of their fame.
However
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with it, since famous
people
Use synonyms
 have a right to have their boundaries and might be targeted by criminals.

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task response
Start with a clear view and keep one main idea in each paragraph. Add 2–3 simple reasons with small examples.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like but, also, therefore. Make the flow from one idea to the next clear.
grammar
Check small grammar and word use. Use short, simple notes and avoid long, hard phrases.
content
The writer shows a clear choice and keeps it in mind.
structure
Intro and ending are present and linked.
coherence
Some linking words are used to join ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • right to privacy
  • media intrusion
  • mental health
  • family life
  • set boundaries
  • legal means
  • protect privacy
  • social media
  • personal narrative
  • freedom of the press
  • ethical journalism
  • sensationalism
  • public scrutiny
  • public interest
  • prurient curiosity
What to do next:
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