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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, young people leave their parents’ home in their early twenties to go and live on their own, while others prefer to stay with their families until a later age. Do you think the advantages of young people living with their parents for longer outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #parents’ #home #twenties #families #age #parents
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In most of the cases, young
people
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 want to try the experience of living alone.
That is
Linking Words
 why they decide to move out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
parents
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'
house
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 and live alone. Even though some
people
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 think
this
Linking Words
 can have disadvantages, I think that it is an experience that can have a big positive impact on young
people
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's lives.
Firstly
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, living alone can teach you so many
things
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 especially if a person is in their early twenties.
While
Linking Words
 growing, we can learn from our mistakes and take that as a learning.
For example
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, when a young person moves alone for the first time they can notice how difficult it is to administrate all of the
house
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 expenditures like water, lights or paying the rent; the same happens with doing all the household core
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning, doing the laundry or washing the dishes. Having all of these experiences can help
people
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 to notice that living alone
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 a lot of effort,
while
Linking Words
 they learn how the reality of life is.
On the other hand
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, living with your
parents
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 until a later age can lead
people
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 to not have personal growth and not experience real life. Whenever you live with your
parents
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, most
things
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 are easier
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that you're not responsible for
things
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 mainly the spending.
For instance
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, when live with your
parents
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 you don't have to clean the whole
house
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 just your room, you go to the supermarket with them but don't pay for the groceries. Everything could be easier in economic aspects but you're not really aware of the cost of
this
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. Even though everyone can make the decision to stay at their
parents
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'
house
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 until they're older, or live alone at a young age,
this
Linking Words
last
Linking Words
 option can make you grow as an individual and make you realize
things
Use synonyms
 that can be useful for your reality.
Submitted by dannie.sanval on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that develop the main idea effectively. Also, use transitions to create a logical flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task response
Make sure to fully address all parts of the question prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages of young people living with their parents for longer. Develop your ideas with relevant, specific examples for a more complete response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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