The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

#show #uk #graduate #postgraduates #students #work #college

The graph bars above illustrate the destination of

graduates compared to

destination

Add an article

the destination

a destination

show examples

postgraduates, both in 2008 and excluding

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

full-time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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. It's clear that most

graduates and postgraduates would continue to study.

On the contrary

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

voluntary work was the least option

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

chosen by both groups. Almost 30,000

graduates chose to get deeper knowledge into their studies,

while

nearly 18,000 individuals had part-time

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

However

, it seems 16,235 people struggle to have a stable job, even though they have a bachelor's degree altogether with them.

Moreover

, only 3,500 did voluntary work in 2008.

On the other hand

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of former

postgratduate

Correct your spelling

postgraduate

students took

further

advanced studies in the United Kingdom, yet the number is small compared to bachelor's degrees at only 2,725. Around 2,500 people with master's degrees engaged in part-time work,

while

1,625 individuals were not able to land a single job. The number of voluntary,

nevertheless

, are smallest of all at just 345.

Submitted by matcha on Fri Oct 13 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

161 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pursue
enhance
skillset
gain experience
expand knowledge
acquire
develop
employment prospects
participate
contribute
job market
seek
apply for
opportunities
gain valuable insights
explore
unemployment rate
entrepreneurship
set up
initiate
establish
start a business
self-employment
chart
data
statistics
graduate
postgraduate
students
college
full-time work
leaving
further studies
part-time work
internships
volunteer work
travel
starting own business

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The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ?

Government should spend money to increase the development of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sport and art performances for general public. Do you agree or disagree?

Government should spend money to increase the development of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sport and art performances for general public. Do you agree or disagree?