IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #amount #money #children #charity #usa #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 picture
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 the amount of
revenue
Use synonyms
 sources and expenditures of a USA Charity in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2016. These two pie charts reflect that donated food accounted for the biggest
revenue
Use synonyms
 source, contributing
86,5
Correct your spelling
86.5
% of all revenues.
Program
Use synonyms
 services accounted for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the expenditure with 95,8% of all outgoings. The other categories indicated
much
Correct article usage
a much
show examples
 smaller percentage. Community contributions, who were the second largest source of
revenue
Use synonyms
, only brought in 10,4% of
overall
Linking Words
 charts. The following sources had
almost
Add an article
an almost
show examples
 insignificant impact on
overall
Linking Words
revenue
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
program
Use synonyms
revenue
Use synonyms
 (2,2%), investment income (0,2%), government grants (0,2%), and other income (0,4%). There are only two expenditure categories
besides
Linking Words
program
Use synonyms
 services,
such
Linking Words
 as fundraising (2,6%) and management and general (1,6%) respectively. In conclusion,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 income sources they generated (53.561.580 US dollars)
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surpassed
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 expenditures they spent (53.224.896 US dollars). Donated food and community contributions alone could cover all of the
program
Use synonyms
 services budget.
Submitted by maukaburtubel on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words revenue, program with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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