IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Countries should restrict foreign companies from opening offices and factories in order to protect local businesses. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

#countries #companies #offices #factories #businesses
It is a fact that domestic
companies
 are getting business hit
due to
 entry of foreign entities,
hence
 there are a lot of people who may argue that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
banned
Change the verb form
ban
show examples
 these entries.
This
 essay will outline the reasons why I completely disagree with the notion, as these outside
companies
 come up with
latest
Change the article
the latest
show examples
 technology for
cost effectiveness
Add a hyphen
cost-effectiveness
show examples
, as well
ass
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 it really helps in
maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
 a healthy competitive environment.
Firstly
, worldwide leading organizations are operating with efficient technologies and upgraded versions of it. Efficient delivery of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 with
economic
Replace the word
economies
show examples
 of scale can be seen
as a result
 of that.
For example
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of production and delivery of electronic products by multinational
companies
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 far better than domestic manufacturing units in
past
Add an article
the past
show examples
 decade.
Therefore
, opening doors for these
companies
 could be seen as really
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 to local consumers.
Secondly
, a sound market
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
judge
Wrong verb form
judged
show examples
 by
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
cometitiveness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
, and there should be
less restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer restrictions
show examples
.
This
 is really important from
Add an article
a customer
the customer
show examples
customer
Change noun form
customer's
show examples
 point of view as they should be allowed to choose
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
require
Change the form of the verb
required
show examples
 product
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
a comparitive
show examples
comparitive
Correct your spelling
competitive
comparative
 rate, whilst consumer power is less in
absence
Correct article usage
the absence
show examples
 of it.
For instance
, Middle East countries have strong monopoly business structure
due to
 which people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 no choice but
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
 the product
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
provider
Correct article usage
the provider
show examples
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
. These factors must be taken into consideration when thinking
to disallow
Change preposition
about disallowing
show examples
 outsiders
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they bring
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
show examples
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 for buyers with them.
To conclude
,
although
 there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
demand
Add an article
a demand
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 banning outside business with consideration of
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 local shops and factories, I disagree with
this
 action. It's because not only it
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on
lower cost
Add a hyphen
lower-cost
show examples
 offering to local customers but
also
 provide an alternate option in markets where
single
Add an article
the single
a single
show examples
 company holds it.
Submitted by AnkitV on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Include topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Develop the specific examples further to provide more evidence.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure for clarity.
lexical resource
Use more varied vocabulary to improve lexical resource.

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