IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people say that companies should allow their employees to dress casually. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #companies #employees #dress
People have recently expressed different views on whether businesses should allow their staff to
dress
 down at the workplace or force employees to adhere to the company's formal
dress
code
. Personally, I am in agreement with the former opinion for the following reasons. The primary reason is that liberty in choosing what to wear improves working performance
as well as
 productivity.
This
 is explained as dressing casually creates a friendly working environment, which boosts workers’s creation, thereby motivating personnel to work better. Take Microsoft as a typical example, their
dress
code
 is “anything goes as long as you are clean”. They do not put any restrictions on how their staff
dress
, and
therefore
 they have emerged as the most successful multinational company in the globe.
Additionally
, a less strict
dress
 regulation can boost employee morale. It means that each position has a feature in the
dress
code
 to identify who they are.
By contrast
, comfortable clothing makes it less hierarchical, which results in increasing confidence among company workers as they can express their individuality and display a strong sense of self-confidence in being different and expressing their individuality.
In other words
, they feel eager to go to work every day without being bored by having a repetitive style. Those on the other side of the issue may say that compulsory uniforms or business attire create a more professional look for the enterprise.
However
, only a small number of occupations rely on uniforms or formal business attire for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional recognition
while
 most others do not share
this
 nature.
As a result
, the implementation of formal clothing policies in
such
 cases proves unjustifiable. In conclusion, it is undeniable that a more liberal
dress
code
 can be beneficial for companies. They can create a positive working environment, which is crucial in boosting the companies’ morale
as well as
 their profit.
Submitted by my251e3 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction could be improved by providing a clear thesis statement that directly answers the question.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing your main points and reinforcing your position.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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