IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you agree that virtual reality will help the development of society?

#reality #development #society
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It is known that we live a technology
life
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 and a
lot
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 of people
use
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 to
internet
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 virtual. İt is help to us for confortabıl
life
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. İ strongly believe that virtual reality will help the development.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain a few reasons for
this
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.
First,
Linking Words
a
lot
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 of engineers and scientists
use
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 virtual in their jobs because they need to see their projects in the virtual which is checked before doing the real project.
For example
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, one of my friends who is an engineer told me. He built a very famous bridge in Gaziantep and he saw before the start a
lot
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 of wrong about the bridge built thanks veritable simulator.
Second,
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some doctors
use
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the simulator before
operation
Add an article
the operation
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 which is difficult. They can see and do pratic for the surgeon and
understood
Wrong verb form
understand
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 how
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 can go the surgery.
for instance
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 , dr. Halil is the best in the world for general surgery. He is so successful
thank
Correct subject-verb agreement
thanks
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 to virtual because he
do
Change the verb form
does
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 practice every time on
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 rather than joining the operation.
Third,
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a
lot
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 of teenagers social media and they can learn there every things like a new language, meet new friends or travel on a virtual that are affects to development .
For example
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, most of company
use
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 social media for their advertising
To sum up
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, technology
especial
Change the word
especially
show examples
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 or virtually so important in
life
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 because it makes our
life
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 easy and comfortable. In my opinion, we have to
use
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 it
we
Correct word choice
if we
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 want to
devalop
Correct your spelling
develop
 in
life
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. If we look at rich countries, they could be successful thanks to the
internet
Use synonyms
 and virtual.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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