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Band 4

Do you agree that virtual reality will help the development of society?

#reality #development #society
It is known that we live a technology
life
 and a
lot
 of people
use
 to
internet
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 virtual. İt is help to us for confortabıl
life
. İ strongly believe that virtual reality will help the development.
This
 essay will explain a few reasons for
this
.
First,
a
lot
 of engineers and scientists
use
 virtual in their jobs because they need to see their projects in the virtual which is checked before doing the real project.
For example
, one of my friends who is an engineer told me. He built a very famous bridge in Gaziantep and he saw before the start a
lot
 of wrong about the bridge built thanks veritable simulator.
Second,
some doctors
use
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the simulator before
operation
Add an article
the operation
show examples
 which is difficult. They can see and do pratic for the surgeon and
understood
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
 how
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can go the surgery.
for instance
 , dr. Halil is the best in the world for general surgery. He is so successful
thank
Correct subject-verb agreement
thanks
show examples
 to virtual because he
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 practice every time on
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 rather than joining the operation.
Third,
a
lot
 of teenagers social media and they can learn there every things like a new language, meet new friends or travel on a virtual that are affects to development .
For example
, most of company
use
 social media for their advertising
To sum up
, technology
especial
Change the word
especially
show examples
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 or virtually so important in
life
 because it makes our
life
 easy and comfortable. In my opinion, we have to
use
 it
we
Correct word choice
if we
show examples
 want to
devalop
Correct your spelling
develop
 in
life
. If we look at rich countries, they could be successful thanks to the
internet
 and virtual.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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