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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The charts below give attendance figures for Grandville stadium from 2017 which are projected in 2030 after a major improvement project.

The charts below give attendance figures for Grandville stadium from 2017 which are projected in 2030 after a major improvement project.
#attendance #figures #grandville #stadium #improvement #project
The chart gives information about the number of people who attended
in in
Change preposition
apply
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Grandville Stadium
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different occasions after the annual
developmet
Correct your spelling
development
 in 2019.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 figures are
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 3 different
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 in 2017, 2020, and 2030. which is very noticeable in sporting Events in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to the others.
According to
bar
Add an article
a bar
the bar
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 chart, there is a significant
diference
Correct your spelling
difference
betwen
Correct your spelling
between
attendances
Change the noun form
attendance
show examples
 in
sporting
Correct article usage
the sporting
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 area. which is almost three times more than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
are attending
Wrong verb form
attend
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 a concert or
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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each year. It
also
 illustrates that
interest
Correct article usage
the interest
show examples
 rate in
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 in 2017 was
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 least and
consist
Wrong verb form
consisted
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 minority. Even though it reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,more than 20 years later but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it was still
un der
Correct your spelling
under
show examples
 50000. the eagerness for
for
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
s sports was shown in the figures which was the highest trend
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 and only faced a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
slight rise in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
further
 years. The moderate rates of popularity belonged to concert activity which
demonstrate
Wrong verb form
demonstrated
show examples
 a great jump from 25000 in2017 to more than 100000 in 2030.
Although
 theater fans,
on the contrary
, constituted
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 proportion without any substantial growth
Submitted by reihanetorfe on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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