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Writing Samples
Band 3

Social media affect attention span. So you agree or disagree?

#media #attention #span
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Social
media
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 is a great source of entertainment.
While
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 some argue that social
media
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 does not decrease
attention
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 span, I side with those who think that the presence of social
media
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 affects one’s ability to concentrate for two main reasons.
First,
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social
media
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 users can suffer from
addiction
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. The advancement of
internet
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the internet
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 can produce social
media
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 algorithms based on
the
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apply
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user
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 preference to capture the
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user
Change noun form
user's
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attention
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.
As a result
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, social
media
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 displays a bunch of data covering
wide
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a wide
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 range of topics that might be the interests of its
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user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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. At
first
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first,
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 the
user
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 might open social
media
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 as a form of curiosity. It
then
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 continues to feed
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user
Correct article usage
the user
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 with the clickbait to gain even more the
user
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’s
attention
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. The cycle continues and there goes the
addiction
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 process occurs resulting in
attention
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 reduction. Another reason why social
media
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 decreases someone’s attentiveness is the health problems it possesses
as a result
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 of
addiction
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. Similar to the
addiction
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 case in
drugs
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drug
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 users,
addiction
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 can disrupt the way
brain
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the brain
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 works. It alters the nerve conduction inside the
user
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’s brain.
Consequently
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, the
user
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tend
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tends
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 to find it hard to stay
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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 and composed as the physiology changes in the way that
user
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 judgement will be clouded. In conclusion, social
media
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 usage alters
user
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 concentration by causing an
addiction
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 and changing how the brain works. I,
therefore
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, remain firmly convinced that the utility of social
media
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 can alter
user
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’s
attention
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 span.
Submitted by Uki_i9 on

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task achievement
Provide a more detailed introduction to set the context of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your main points and provide more supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-organized.
coherence cohesion
Include a separate paragraph for the conclusion and summarize your main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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