In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

It is advised that
students
who graduate from high
school
take a one-year break before entering university and do other activities
such
as
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
or working.
This
essay will discuss the merits of
this
suggestion which are experiencing a different lifestyle and having a refreshment opportunity and its drawbacks which are considered bewilderment and academic
study
forgetfulness. One primary advantage of not studying consecutively and taking a one-year gap between
school
and university is that
students
can find their true passions
while
they are either working or
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. In simple terms, being able to experience different aspects of
life
rather than just studying helps them to find their path.
Moreover
, they can discover their potential and know about their capabilities. Another plus point of
this
recommendation is that pupils can
finally
rest after their 12-year
study
programme at
school
. Studying for 12 years in a row can cause
students
to experience mental fatigue,
hence
it is advisable for
students
to take a break and refresh their brains. My sister,
for example
, was the only girl in our family to refuse to
study
right after being graduated from high
school
. Her field of
study
at high
school
was mathematics, but after one year of travelling around our country, she decided to change her major to social science because she thought
this
major suited her better.
However
, taking a
study
gap and choosing a career or moving around has disadvantages as well.
Students
who choose not to continue studying in a row might face some difficulties
such
as subject oblivion and bewilderment about their
life
, when they come back to follow their academic plans.
That is
to say , working and
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
might distract the
students
and it may not allow them to use the information they have stored in their brains during their
study
years,
as a result
not revising the information leads to forgetfulness and when they decide to continue studying , they should
study
harder compared to other
students
. Another drawback is confusion caused by the dilemma may face when they come back to
study
. Some
students
might want to work, travel and
study
at the same time and sometimes it becomes impossible to do so.
Therefore
, they become confused about their choice.
For instance
, my uncle wishes that he had not taken a gap after graduating from high
school
because if he had not worked as a carpenter for a year , he would have been more determined to
study
engineering. In conclusion, encouraging youngsters to work or move around, for one year, right after their high
school
graduation and
then
continue studying at university, benefits pupils in a way that they can experience different aspects of
life
and refresh their minds during that time.
However
, it can make them distracted , confused about their
life
choices and forgetful.
Submitted by dinanssn5 on

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task
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the position of the essay and provides a roadmap for the main points that will be discussed.
task
Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.
lexical resource
Avoid repetitive language and use a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a wider variety of sentence structures to showcase grammatical range and accuracy.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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