In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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It is advised that
students
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who graduate from high
school
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take a one-year break before entering university and do other activities
such
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as
traveling
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travelling
show examples
or working.
This
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essay will discuss the merits of
this
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suggestion which are experiencing a different lifestyle and having a refreshment opportunity and its drawbacks which are considered bewilderment and academic
study
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forgetfulness. One primary advantage of not studying consecutively and taking a one-year gap between
school
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and university is that
students
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can find their true passions
while
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they are either working or
traveling
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travelling
show examples
. In simple terms, being able to experience different aspects of
life
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rather than just studying helps them to find their path.
Moreover
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, they can discover their potential and know about their capabilities. Another plus point of
this
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recommendation is that pupils can
finally
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rest after their 12-year
study
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programme at
school
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. Studying for 12 years in a row can cause
students
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to experience mental fatigue,
hence
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it is advisable for
students
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to take a break and refresh their brains. My sister,
for example
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, was the only girl in our family to refuse to
study
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right after being graduated from high
school
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. Her field of
study
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at high
school
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was mathematics, but after one year of travelling around our country, she decided to change her major to social science because she thought
this
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major suited her better.
However
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, taking a
study
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gap and choosing a career or moving around has disadvantages as well.
Students
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who choose not to continue studying in a row might face some difficulties
such
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as subject oblivion and bewilderment about their
life
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, when they come back to follow their academic plans.
That is
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to say , working and
traveling
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travelling
show examples
might distract the
students
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and it may not allow them to use the information they have stored in their brains during their
study
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years,
as a result
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not revising the information leads to forgetfulness and when they decide to continue studying , they should
study
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harder compared to other
students
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. Another drawback is confusion caused by the dilemma may face when they come back to
study
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. Some
students
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might want to work, travel and
study
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at the same time and sometimes it becomes impossible to do so.
Therefore
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, they become confused about their choice.
For instance
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, my uncle wishes that he had not taken a gap after graduating from high
school
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because if he had not worked as a carpenter for a year , he would have been more determined to
study
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engineering. In conclusion, encouraging youngsters to work or move around, for one year, right after their high
school
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graduation and
then
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continue studying at university, benefits pupils in a way that they can experience different aspects of
life
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and refresh their minds during that time.
However
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, it can make them distracted , confused about their
life
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choices and forgetful.
Submitted by dinanssn5 on

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task
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the position of the essay and provides a roadmap for the main points that will be discussed.
task
Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.
lexical resource
Avoid repetitive language and use a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a wider variety of sentence structures to showcase grammatical range and accuracy.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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