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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below show the numbers of people per household in 1990 and 2000 in New Zealand. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below show the numbers of people per household in 1990 and 2000 in New Zealand. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie charts below display the number of individuals per house in New Zealand in the years 1990 and 2000
Overall
Linking Words
, two
people
Use synonyms
 in each household had the biggest market
share
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
While
Linking Words
 the
share
Use synonyms
 of 1 person and 3
people
Use synonyms
 will continue to be significant, and with 4
people
Use synonyms
 will remain relatively stable, the others will fall to minimal levels. In 1990 houses with 2
people
Use synonyms
 had nearly a third of the
overall
Linking Words
share
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 proportion was maintained in 2000, but it fell to be the second biggest portion. The next highest part, is the one with 3
people
Use synonyms
, with over a fifth in 1990, and it is predicted to rise and become the largest portion with 35% of the market
share
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Households with 4
people
Use synonyms
 began with 17% but decreased by 1% compared with the first chart. In 1990 families with 5 and 6
people
Use synonyms
 had the lowest proportion with 8% and 6% respectively. In 2000,
while
Linking Words
 houses with 5
people
Use synonyms
 increased to 13%, the ones with 6
people
Use synonyms
 it is projected to almost disappear with only 3%.
Finally
Linking Words
, one person is set to become the biggest loser with a loss of 15% from 17% to 2%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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