The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preference. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the frequency of U.S Adults’ online purchasing habits in 2015, while the bar chart shows a further classification denoting online purchasing preference. 

Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of U.S
adults
who
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchased
show examples
goods in online
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
in 2015,
while
the bar chart depicts the percentages of shopping
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
by U.S
adults
in online and physical
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
.
Overall
,
adults
people
in
Correct article usage
the U.S
show examples
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
frequently
purchased
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
things in online
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
less often than
people
who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
never
shop
online,
while
adults
prefer
purchased
Change the verb form
to purchase
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
physical
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
rather than buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in online
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
.
To begin
,
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
adults
people
in 2015 had the highest percentage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
spending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money less often at 37%.
Then
, the habits of
people
who purchased a few times a month at 28%,
while
15% purchased weekly in online
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
. Interestingly, there were 20% of U.S
adults
who never purchased
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
online
shop
.
Next,
it looks like
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
people
in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
prefer to less buy frequently in
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
, it reached approximately 83%. It
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
by the percentages of all online
shoppers
, monthly online
shoppers
, and weekly
shoppers
that had around 65%, 55%, and 37% respectively. Even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
, physical online dominated the entire trend
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
online
shop
Replace the word
shopping
show examples
was the highest in weekly online
shoppers
(61%).
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words adults, shop, people, shoppers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • bar chart
  • frequencies
  • rarely
  • preferential
  • classification
  • trend analysis
  • proportion
  • demographics
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • sector
  • habitual
  • retail
  • consumer behavior
  • summative
  • quantitative data
  • interpret
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!