SOME PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE CHANGES AND PREFET TO DO THINGS THEY ARE GOOD AT, WHILE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE TAKING RISKS AND TRYING NEW THINGS. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.
Day by day the world is changing,
people
have to Correct word choice
and people
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
the
changing world. Change preposition
to the
However
, some people
do not like to change from thier
comfort zone Correct your spelling
their
while
others accepting
the Wrong verb form
accept
risk
and change their life acording
to the current situation. I personally believe we want to take the Correct your spelling
according
risk
and try to get the
better opportunities.
Some Correct article usage
apply
people
in the world, they
do not like to change their traditions Correct pronoun usage
apply
specially
some professional characters. Replace the word
especially
For example
, some Aurvedic
doctors still use Correct your spelling
Ayurvedic
to
treat their Fix the infinitive
apply
patients
old methods Change to a genitive case
patient's
patients'
while
they have chance
to use developed Correct article usage
a chance
quipments
. Correct your spelling
equipment
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
that is
becasue
of their traditions or they will think if they use the new technology their treatment will not work.
Correct your spelling
because
However
, it is so happy to see that most of the young generation like
to take Replace the word
likes
risk
and see what is the result, it is a good trend. There is no point Fix the agreement mistake
risks
of
sticking to one thing, there are Change preposition
in
lot
of opportunities we can see out of our comfort zone. Sometimes, it will be Correct article usage
a lot
benifitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
us
Change preposition
to us
such
as,
it will make easy your current tasks or it will open new Remove the comma
apply
accpects
for you. Correct your spelling
aspects
accepts
For example
, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
depend on thier
jobs, but if someone Correct your spelling
their
think
Change the verb form
thinks
to leave
Change the verb form
leaving
the
job and Change the word
their
start
their own business will be the best Wrong verb form
starting
dicision
in their life because doing Correct your spelling
decision
Correct article usage
a full
full time
job is Add a hyphen
full-time
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
but
if you have your own business it will not that much stressful and it will gives more benifits for you. If you Correct word choice
apply
not
take the Change the verb form
do not
did not
risk
you can not experiense
Correct your spelling
experience
this
advantages.
In conclusion, I personally believe always we want to think Correct determiner usage
these
the
out of frame because it will Correct article usage
apply
gives
Change the verb form
give
more
chances Correct pronoun usage
us more
for
Change preposition
apply
us
. Taking Correct pronoun usage
apply
risk
is better than Fix the agreement mistake
risks
stuck
in the old things which they can do perfectly. It will help to develop us both physically and mentally.Add a missing verb
being stuck
Submitted by piuymi.madu on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views.
lexical resource
Expand on your main points with more specific examples.
grammatical range accuracy
Be more careful with grammar and sentence structure.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite