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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
#floor #plan #library #years
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The floor plan compares the setting of a public
library
Use synonyms
 in the past and present.
Overall
Linking Words
, more facilities are added.
An amount
Change the quantifier
A number
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 of traditional
books
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 have been removed
but
Correct word choice
and
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 replaced with new technology.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 many things have changed from the past and present floor
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
. Two decades ago, the central
library
Use synonyms
 had 5 sections of
books
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:
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children’s
books
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the top right
corner
Use synonyms
, below was
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adult’s
non-fictions
Correct your spelling
non-fiction
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, magazines and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the bottom left
corner
Use synonyms
, and adults’s
fictions
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fiction
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 above the reading
section
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. There
was
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were
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 tables and chairs in the middle of the
library
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. An enquiry desk was situated
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the bottom right
corner
Use synonyms
. There was
also
Linking Words
 a computer
section
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on
Change preposition
in
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 the top left
corner
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the central
library
Use synonyms
 has changed considerably.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the 4 main corners are still occupied but modified. On the top left
corner
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,the
section
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 consists of a
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
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 area and children’s
fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
show examples
 with some sofas. The reference
books
Use synonyms
section
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 is above the computer
section
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 on
bottom
Add an article
the bottom
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 left
corner
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. The lecture room is placed
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the top right
corner
Use synonyms
. Opposite to it is the cafe which is below an information desk and
adult’s
Change noun form
adult
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fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
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. The entrance hall is clear for more space.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, books, corner, section with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • shelving
  • reading area
  • reference section
  • encyclopedias
  • dictionaries
  • circulation desk
  • transactions
  • digital media
  • computer stations
  • multimedia rooms
  • café area
  • social environment
  • leisure-friendly
  • expanded reading areas
  • user experience
  • comfortable seating
  • children's section
  • engage younger readers
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