IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is recommended that traditional market be phased out and replaced by supermarket and e-commerce. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#market #supermarket #e-commerce
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument that
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 market will be predicted in the future which will
be took
Change the verb form
be taking
be taken
show examples
 over by
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
 and e-commerce. In
this
Linking Words
 topic, I strongly agree, as I suppose that there are two reasons related to
this
Linking Words
 issue, which I will state in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays the rapid development of
technology
Use synonyms
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 be avoided
indeed
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. Mostly people in the world prefer to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial
technology
Use synonyms
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
because
show examples
 there are more easily accessible.
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 Internet,
for instance
Linking Words
, which
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 essential
technology
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
that has
show examples
 been implemented in start-up
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 or e-commerce since it offers numerous advantages to the enterprise. Potential buyers can access easily wherever they are by clicking
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 start-up website to find the items they would like to purchase.
As a result
Linking Words
, it might change
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people’s
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 from buying
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
goods in
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
 market to online e-commerce source one.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the cleanliness and comfortable modern supermarket will be one of
this
Linking Words
 reason why people apparently like to go
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 facility. Buyers will
be
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 more convenient to purchase some goods by sightseeing in
storefront
Fix the agreement mistake
storefronts
show examples
 by detailing the price tag in vary of things. They might not only compare a price but
also
Linking Words
 could check the quality of the goods.
In addition
Linking Words
,
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
show examples
also
Linking Words
 offers their catalogue
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 website or leaflet so that people easier to find out detail By way of conclusion, I am highly convinced that the mentioned phenomenon in the statement will occur in the
nearest
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future.
Due to
Linking Words
 the beneficial
technology
Use synonyms
 development,
such
Linking Words
 as
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and the convenience factor or reason, they will substitute the era of
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
a traditional
show examples
 market.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: