IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The increase in the production and consumption of meat has resulted in damage to the natural environment What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

The rise in the amount of
meat
Use synonyms
producted
Correct your spelling
produced
 and consumed has destroyed the natural habitat. The problem is attributable to deforestation taking place for grazing grass and untreated
waste
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 from
production
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 but can be
addresed
Correct your spelling
addressed
 by
replacement
Correct article usage
the replacement
show examples
 of environmentally friendly
products
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. The underlying root of the problem is almost always the destruction of the forest.
In other words
Linking Words
, farmers cut down trees to expand their farming field for cow farms or battery farm which supplies a large quantity of
meat
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the lack of green space will warm up the earth and cause climate change.
This
Linking Words
because
Add a missing verb
is because
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 trees are
cable
Correct your spelling
capable
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 of absorbing CO2 emissions- the substance
increase
Change the verb form
increases
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 the temperature.
According to
Linking Words
 data research, over one million hectares of forest over the world
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 cleared
due to
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 the expansion of livestock farming. Another principal cause
destruction
Change preposition
of destruction
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 to the
environment
Use synonyms
 nature is the
remainant
Correct your spelling
remnant
remaining
 of
meat
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production
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. It must be recognized that untreated
waste
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 from factory farms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 detrimental effects on
water
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 bodies
due to
Linking Words
 high levels of nutrients in animal manure and
run off
Correct your spelling
runoff
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
remainant
Correct your spelling
remains
 enter the
water
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 and
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
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 in
water
Use synonyms
 pollution.
This
Linking Words
 can be explained that different elements from
waste
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as nitrogen and phosphorus can transform the
water
Use synonyms
 bodies
in to
Join the words
into
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unsustanable
Correct your spelling
unsustainable
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
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.
This
Linking Words
 is true in Vietnam, where untreated
waste
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 from the process of producing
meat
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 is released
to
Change preposition
into
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 rivers and lakes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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killed
Wrong verb form
killing
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 tonnes of fish.
Perharps
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Perhaps
 a solution to the problem of
meat
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 and consumption is to be found in the form of changing
eatin
Correct your spelling
eating
eatin'
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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. The most effective approach is to put more tax on protein
products
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. If the price of
meat
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 increases, people will replace it with organic
products
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 which are friendly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.
Taking
Wrong verb form
Take
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 the UK as a prime example, where tax on
meat
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 increases steadily throughout the year, leading to a fall in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consumption and a rise in organic
products
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 that minimize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deforestation and adverse
waste
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. In conclusion,
destruction
Correct article usage
the destruction
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 of the
environment
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 stems from deforestation and
releasing
Wrong verb form
the release of
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 the
remainants
Correct your spelling
remains
 of
meat
Use synonyms
production
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
substituing
Correct your spelling
substituting
 protein
products
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by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 organic
products
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 will improve the natural
environment
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.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more detailed explanation of how deforestation for grazing grass and untreated waste from production contribute to the damage of the natural environment.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or data to support the claim that over one million hectares of forest have been cleared due to the expansion of livestock farming.
lexical grammatical
Use stronger vocabulary and more varied sentence structures to improve the lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy.
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