In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some countries,
children
are usually advised that if they work hard, they can attain all their dreams
. Applying this
measure may have some advantages and disadvantages that in this
essay I will explain them.
In terms of benefits, I think the most significant profit of implementing this
method is that,
it empowers Remove the comma
apply
children
to pursue their dreams
and consequently
, discover their latent talents. For instance
, Tomas Edison did
the world’s most crucial invention, which was his childhood dream Verb problem
made
due to
his mother’s encouragements
. Fix the agreement mistake
encouragement
As a result
brought welfare and comfort in
Change preposition
to
human’s
life. Change noun form
human
Furthermore
, inspiring children
to go after their dreams
can lead in
Change preposition
to
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
innovative
and ambitious individuals in the future, who would be able to offer more efficient solutions to human problems. Change preposition
of innovative
In addition
, this
method of upbringing children
increase
their knowledge, Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
results
in attaining goals Correct word choice
and results
become
more perceivable and imaginable for them.
Correct pronoun usage
that become
On the other hand
, instilling this
motto in children
can cause irreparable damages
by getting older. Fix the agreement mistake
damage
In other words
, due to
the trainers
or Change noun form
trainer's
trainers'
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
encouragements
, they may put themselves under pressure to attain their desires. Fix the agreement mistake
encouragement
However
, in the
competitive Correct article usage
a
society
if they cannot reach what they want, the trauma of defeat would be inevitable. To illustrate Add a comma
society,
this
, we can mention the suicide rate growth among school students after failure in reaching
their goals. Change preposition
to reach
For example
, inability
Correct article usage
the inability
in passing
an exam may cost them their life.
In conclusion, in order to have a progressed and intellectual society, Change preposition
to pass
children
should be persuaded to pursue their dreams
. Alongside, they should be taught to be realistic and aware of their abilities. This
perspective will help them to behave logically when facing failure.Submitted by golriiz23 on
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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement at the end of your introduction.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Try to use more varied vocabulary and avoid repetition.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed and there are a few errors throughout the essay.