In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries,
children
are usually advised that if they work hard, they can attain all their
dreams
. Applying
this
measure may have some advantages and disadvantages that in
this
essay I will explain them. In terms of benefits, I think the most significant profit of implementing
this
method is that
,
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apply
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it empowers
children
to pursue their
dreams
and
consequently
, discover their latent talents.
For instance
, Tomas Edison
did
Verb problem
made
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the world’s most crucial invention, which was his childhood dream
due to
his mother’s
encouragements
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encouragement
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.
As a result
brought welfare and comfort
in
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to
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human’s
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human
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life.
Furthermore
, inspiring
children
to go after their
dreams
can lead
in
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to
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upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
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innovative
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of innovative
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and ambitious individuals in the future, who would be able to offer more efficient solutions to human problems.
In addition
,
this
method of upbringing
children
increase
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increases
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their knowledge,
results
Correct word choice
and results
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in attaining goals
become
Correct pronoun usage
that become
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more perceivable and imaginable for them.
On the other hand
, instilling
this
motto in
children
can cause irreparable
damages
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damage
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by getting older.
In other words
,
due to
the
trainers
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trainer's
trainers'
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or
parents
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parents'
parent's
show examples
encouragements
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encouragement
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, they may put themselves under pressure to attain their desires.
However
, in
the
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a
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competitive
society
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society,
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if they cannot reach what they want, the trauma of defeat would be inevitable. To illustrate
this
, we can mention the suicide rate growth among school students after failure
in reaching
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to reach
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their goals.
For example
,
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
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in passing
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to pass
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an exam may cost them their life. In conclusion, in order to have a progressed and intellectual society,
children
should be persuaded to pursue their
dreams
. Alongside, they should be taught to be realistic and aware of their abilities.
This
perspective will help them to behave logically when facing failure.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement at the end of your introduction.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Try to use more varied vocabulary and avoid repetition.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are awkwardly constructed and there are a few errors throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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