IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their houses. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #citizens #gun #houses #people #idea
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Whether the public should be entitled to own a gun or not is a topic of heated debate. Some people advocate for
this
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 idea,
whereas
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 others do not.
This
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 essay will discuss both opinions
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and explain why I agree with the latter/former.
Proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
Proponents
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 of
this
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 idea believe that the government should allow the residents to possess in their houses for self-defense. On the one hand, in cases of suddenly finding a thief, people who do not have guns are likely to put themselves and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 in danger of getting killed, in the worst-case scenario. Especially, in some countries that have high crime rates, the states give citizens permission to use firearms so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they in order to protect themselves from accidents.
However
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, if not, they may start protests causing some social instabilities.
On the other hand
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, possessing guns is not necessarily a must
in
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at
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 home as in certain situations, it is more of a threat
for
Change preposition
to
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 residents rather than saving them. Public safety still can be ensured through some other measures taken by the states
such
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 as increasing the number of police officers patrolling residential areas.
Moreover
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, the government can impose stricter laws and punishments for those who break the rules. Those approaches can tackle
concerns
Correct article usage
the concerns
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 of ordinary citizens about dangerous crimes and protect them from
terrible
Correct article usage
the terrible
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 consequences of
uncontrolled
Correct article usage
the uncontrolled
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 use of weapons. Especially, mass shootings in the USA recently are
also
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 the reasons/explain why we should raise objections
in
Change preposition
to
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 possessing firearms. Many cases of innocent people are killed, especially children, which
emphasis
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emphasises
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/
highlight
Correct subject-verb agreement
highlights
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 the need to prohibit guns. in conclusion, private weapons
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not necessarily a must in
home
Add an article
the home
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.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 personally believe that gun is just used by
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 to protect residents.
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