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Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their houses. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #citizens #gun #houses #people #idea
Whether the public should be entitled to own a gun or not is a topic of heated debate. Some people advocate for
this
 idea,
whereas
 others do not.
This
 essay will discuss both opinions
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and explain why I agree with the latter/former.
Proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
Proponents
show examples
 of
this
 idea believe that the government should allow the residents to possess in their houses for self-defense. On the one hand, in cases of suddenly finding a thief, people who do not have guns are likely to put themselves and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 in danger of getting killed, in the worst-case scenario. Especially, in some countries that have high crime rates, the states give citizens permission to use firearms so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they in order to protect themselves from accidents.
However
, if not, they may start protests causing some social instabilities.
On the other hand
, possessing guns is not necessarily a must
in
Change preposition
at
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 home as in certain situations, it is more of a threat
for
Change preposition
to
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 residents rather than saving them. Public safety still can be ensured through some other measures taken by the states
such
 as increasing the number of police officers patrolling residential areas.
Moreover
, the government can impose stricter laws and punishments for those who break the rules. Those approaches can tackle
concerns
Correct article usage
the concerns
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 of ordinary citizens about dangerous crimes and protect them from
terrible
Correct article usage
the terrible
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 consequences of
uncontrolled
Correct article usage
the uncontrolled
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 use of weapons. Especially, mass shootings in the USA recently are
also
 the reasons/explain why we should raise objections
in
Change preposition
to
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 possessing firearms. Many cases of innocent people are killed, especially children, which
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasises
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/
highlight
Correct subject-verb agreement
highlights
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 the need to prohibit guns. in conclusion, private weapons
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not necessarily a must in
home
Add an article
the home
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.
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 personally believe that gun is just used by
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 to protect residents.

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