IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree. You should write at least 250 words.

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #woodwork #school #friends
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There
are
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is
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of people who thinks that schools should focus only on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic success and help
students
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 to pass their examination and skills like cookery, dressmaking and
wood work
Correct your spelling
woodwork
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 should not be taught in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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schools. They
states
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state
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,
these
Correct word choice
that these
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 skills can be
develoved
Correct your spelling
developed
devolved
 by
parents
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as well as
Linking Words
 by friends of that student. From my perspective, I strongly believe that
this
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 statement is correct, but I will be explaining both points of view with the support of some relevant examples. To commence with,
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should focus mainly on the studies of the
students
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. Providing them
better
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with better
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educaction
Correct your spelling
education
,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the main
obejective
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objective
 that the
parents
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 send their children to
schools
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school
show examples
.
This
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help
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helps
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 them to get better remarks in the examinations, which help them to improve their academic background.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
student
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students
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 with
some
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apply
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excellent academic
record
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records
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 may receive
some
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apply
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better job opportunities in
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the futur
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futur
Correct your spelling
future
 as compared to
the
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apply
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other people. For
an
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apply
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instance, there are many countries with
parents
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 who want
there
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their
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 children to be a doctor or an engineer,
instead
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 of
chef
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chefs
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 or fashion
designer
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designers
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.
These kind
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This kind
These kinds
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 of fields can only be achieved if the children focus more on their studies and examinations
instead
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 of some other
activities
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. Even there are few guardians or
parents
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 who suggest that the
school
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 should provide sports
activity
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activities
show examples
instead
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 of some
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
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activities
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. In
contarst
Correct your spelling
contrast
 to
this
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,
students
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 and their
parents
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 prefer that
school
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 should have some other skills aside from the subjects and examinations,
such
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 as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork.
This
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help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to develop their resume stronger and opens many industrial opportunities. Let's assume
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 the
school
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 have some other
activities
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such
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 as cookery,
this
Linking Words
 will help the student to grow their foundation if he or she wants to be a chef.
To conclude
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,
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should provide some
of
Change preposition
apply
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other
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
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activities
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 but should not make them mandatory for every
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students
Change to a singular noun
student
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 to learn them.
This
Linking Words
 will
t
Correct your spelling
help
students
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
achieve
whatsoever
Correct your spelling
whatever
show examples
 goal they want to achieve.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
What to do next:
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