The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.

The charts below show the favourite takeaways of people in Canada and the number of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.
The pie chart illustrates the rate of the best fast
food
for people in Canada and
also
shows the best
food
type for people.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
the pie chart shows
the
Change the article
a
show examples
load of Indian restaurants in Canada between 1960 and 2015.
Overall
the proportion of Chinese shows that people love Chinese fast
food
more than another sort of
food
.
In contrast
, there are three countries that show low percentages
As
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apply
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Japan,
Greek
Correct your spelling
Greece
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and Mexican. Looking in more detail, the highest chunk
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
for Chinese and
Indian
Replace the word
Indians
show examples
the percentages were 34 %, and 26% respectively.
Moreover
, the other types of
food
appeared close percentage as Italian, Persian and the type of favourite takeaways which is never ordered, the percentages were 10%,9%,and
11%respectively
Correct your spelling
11 %respectively
.
Also
, there are three types of
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
food
showing the same % which was 1%. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, the number of Indian restaurants shows a different bulk in all years,
firstly
in 1960 the number was about 300 and after 10 years the
amount
has increased to around 1000
then
in 1980 the
amount
shows
rocketed
Correct article usage
a rocketed
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Increase it is extant to around 3000
also
for 1990 there was
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
increase the
amount
was around 5000
then
from 1997 to 2015 the
amount
was very close it was between 7900
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
9000.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, amount with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • charts
  • favourite takeaways
  • people in Canada
  • number of Indian restaurants
  • 1960
  • 2015
  • types of takeaways
  • popular
  • 55 years
  • country
  • time frame
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