IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisions
The line graphs illustrate the
comparion
Correct your spelling
comparison
 of washing machine, refrigerator and vacuum cleaner
ownership
 and
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of time spent
during
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework in households in one country from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
,
while
 all of the
ownership
 of machines showed
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increasing trajectory during the period shown, time spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework
expreinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 downward trend. In 1920, washing machine
ownership
was dominate
Change the verb form
dominated
show examples
 the market with
40
Correct article usage
a 40
show examples
% percentage and it rose significantly to above 70% in 2019. From 1920 to 1980, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
refrigerator and vacuum cleaner
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 dramatically increased from almost 0% and 30% to 100% and 90% , respectively.
Although
Correct article usage
the Refrigerator
show examples
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
 reached to
pleatue
Correct your spelling
pleasure
please
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 %100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980, vacuum cleaner
ownership
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 to grow until
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
show examples
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest point
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 100% in that year. In 1920 people were spending nearly 50 hours per week
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 and it decreased constantly until 1960 to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 20 hours.
This
 downward trend
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 through to period and in 2019 households were spending nearly 10 hours in the house jobs.
Submitted by airbender on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ownership with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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