IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think robots can improve human life in future, while others think robots may affect society in a bad way. Discuss both view points and give your opinion.

#people #robots #life #future #society #points
Nowadays,
technology
 become a part of our lives, and every day we see big changes in
technology
 improvement.
Also
 , in recent years
robots
 have started taking the human place ,
therefore
, life become easier than past . But unfortunately,
technology
 has a bad impact on communication
skills
 and in society way.
Moreover
, there are
people
 who have strong beliefs in the first opinion in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast there are
people
 who see that the negative point is more than a good point. Many
people
 strongly believe that the future depends on
robots
 and that in future will not be any person working only
robots
 will work. In fact
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is community have started taking
this
 step
as
Change preposition
In
show examples
 China
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
a
lot
 of restaurants have replaced the polite with
robots
, and they are trying to make
robots
 look like humans so that children can accept the new change in the world . In another instance now with the new generation of Artificial intelligence (AI) as CHATGPT or PEO getting new information is easier
also
 you can do the homework and a great presentation with only one click . The negative stop in
this
 is that
people
 lost their advanced search
skills
 and their ability to think about what was happening around them .
In contrast
 on the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand ,
while
 there are a
lot
 of good impacts there are a
lot
 of bad effects of improving
technology
 . Despite the long distance ,
people
 can communicate with their family and friend whom they are away from
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
but
this
 impact society , because meeting in real life makes the connection between them better
in contrast
 with online .
For example
 , during the war there will not be an internet so society will not be able to connect with each other , which will affect their relationships.
Also
,
people
 may lose their public speaking
skills
 and nowadays,
this
skills
 one of the most significant
skills
 to get a job . In conclusion , there are good points to using
robots
 but they
also
 have a
lot
 of impacts on
this
 world and in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I strongly believe in the first opinion
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is provided in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures for better coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization and development of your main points.
grammatical range accuracy
Grammar and punctuation need improvement.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • repetitive tasks
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • hazardous environments
  • healthcare
  • caregiving
  • job displacement
  • unemployment
  • dependence
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
  • human touch
  • misuse
  • privacy invasion
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • improve
  • affect
  • society
  • future
  • viewpoints
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: