IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to living in a big apartment building. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #apartments #apartment
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Living in highly-built
apartments
Use synonyms
 can be an isolated experience and leads to negative emotions for residents,
while
Linking Words
 it
also
Linking Words
 becomes a preferred choice for
people
Use synonyms
work
Change the form of the verb
working
show examples
 in
fast-pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
show examples
 cities. In my opinion, living in
apartments
Use synonyms
 has more significant advantages compared with its drawbacks.
Loneliness
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 common
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 in modern cities;
additionally
Linking Words
, apartment blocks make
people
Use synonyms
 feel more isolated from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
nature
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, living in
apartments
Use synonyms
 results in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of interactions with
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
, so it would be a problem if
people
Use synonyms
 meet
emergency
Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
show examples
 and there is no instant help from
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who stay
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
room on the higher floor can have a quiet environment, they might feel
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 sense of isolation if they have not heard the background sounds of the city for a longer time.
For example
Linking Words
,
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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 caused many mental problems because
people
Use synonyms
 had to stay in their
apartments
Use synonyms
 and available
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 were computer games and TV which easily drove
people
Use synonyms
 addicted to the virtual world.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, high-rise buildings are far from
nature
Use synonyms
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have fewer opportunities to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh air and embrace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
,
while
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 indoor
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
 can provide residents
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
convenient place to do
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 still cannot replace the atmosphere
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 living in
apartments
Use synonyms
 has some problems, the advantages of it are worth
to mention
Change the verb form
mentioning
show examples
 because it provides a private space
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 self-improvement. Working and living in cities is
fast-pace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
show examples
 and stressful, so sometimes
people
Use synonyms
 do need a private space to be alone and deal with their negative emotions or
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
breakdown
Fix the agreement mistake
breakdowns
show examples
.
In addition
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, silence is a
double-edge
Correct your spelling
double-edged
show examples
 sword which can result in
loneliness
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 an ideal environment for a good rest and
concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrated
show examples
 working environment.
Furthermore
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, it is everyone’s responsibility to be dependent and living in
apartments
Use synonyms
 can be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good chance for them to learn to get along well with themselves and
self-improvements
Fix the agreement mistake
self-improvement
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
loneliness
Use synonyms
 can be healed
be
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 enriching the spiritual world by reading, watching lectures or meditation.
At
Rephrase
Lastly
show examples
last
Linking Words
 living on
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 floor usually can have better
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 sunlight and
beautiful
Correct article usage
a beautiful
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 city landscape which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 feel more inspired and energetic. In conclusion, living in
apartments
Use synonyms
 with higher levels can lead to mental problems, but it is
also
Linking Words
 a good opportunity for
people
Use synonyms
 to self-improve and heal
the
Change the word
their
show examples
loneliness
Use synonyms
 by enriching their spiritual worlds.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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