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Band 1.5

Here is a graph illustrating the shifts in food consumption by Chinese people in the midst of 1985 and 2010.

#shifts #food #consumption #chinese #people #midst
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Here is a graph illustrating the shifts in food consumption by Chinese people in the midst of 1985 and 2010. In 1985
in
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apply
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the highest-ranking items were fish,
then
Linking Words
 followed
salt
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by salt
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 in second place,and meat in third position.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, is shown that in 1985, the popularity of meat was the lowest.
However
Linking Words
, by 2010, it had increased and reached the same. We can see that fish
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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starting
from
Change preposition
in
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 1990,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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fluctuated. Between 1990 and 1995, it decreased significantly, but from 1995 onwards, it began to increase sharply. As is presented in the graph, we conclude 2010, it is evident that in China, the popularity of salt slightly decreased,
while
Linking Words
 the popularity of meat grew. Fish,
on the other hand
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, fluctuated for many years but ultimately, as it began, remained the most popular in the country.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Provide a clear overview of the graph in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas are presented in a logical order.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion paragraph to summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitions and connective phrases to improve coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and descriptions to support your statements.
grammatical range accuracy
Check your grammar for errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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