Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today, because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. Do you agree or disagree?

People do not just go to museums to enjoy an
art
exhibition only, they want to see
also
the structures, history and
aesthetics
Replace the word
aesthetic
show examples
features of a local museum, which varies depending on each geographical area.
For example
, a Western museum is surely different from a museum in an Asian country in terms of building materials and
also
the ways artworks
showed
Wrong verb form
are shown
show examples
there. If online artwork could satisfy
art
connoisseurs or history enthusiasts,
art
exhibitions showing Van Gogh paintings would not be sold out quickly. For those who really know how to enjoy a piece of
art
, there is nothing that can replace the real-time interaction between the viewers and the real
art work
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
. Museums and
art
galleries nowadays provide audiences with a variety of different forms of arts including even digital arts and interactive arts. The current and modern exhibitions in museums are often well-prepared and thoughtfully planned to bring the ultimate experience to the
attendants
Correct your spelling
attendees
show examples
.
For example
, some exhibitions are even designed to engage most senses of human beings by incorporating lights, sounds, and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
aromatic air into exhibitive rooms.
Whereas
, through computers,
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
normally
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
can only see the 2D or 3D version of a historical object or a work of
art
.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task and presents relevant ideas. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure of your essay could be improved by organizing your ideas more coherently.
lexical resource
Your range of vocabulary is good, but you could have used more academic vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few errors in sentence structure and verb tense usage. Be careful with subject-verb agreement and use verb tenses consistently.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
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