The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #years

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These two pie charts compare the six categories of devices

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

between

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the

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

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of 18 to 25 use to watch

television

Use synonyms

in Canada in the years

Change preposition

apply

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2009 and 2019.

According to

Linking Words

the pie charts, most

people

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in Canada watched

television

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using conventional TV in 2009.

However

Linking Words

, in the next 10 years, in terms of flat-screen

Correct your spelling

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, the number of

people

Use synonyms

using

this

Linking Words

device adds up to 27%, making it the most popular device.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the use of conventional

television

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rapidly declined from 34% to 4% during 10 years. The same thing occurs

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show examples

the laptop category, going from 20% which

then

Linking Words

decreased to 12% of the total number.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the number of

people

Use synonyms

using tablets to enjoy

television

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programs increased from 5% to 19%.

This

Linking Words

huge increase

also

Linking Words

happens to the rate of the flat-screen TV category, starting from 8% and ending up at 27%.

Submitted by aspfaradita on Mon Oct 16 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, television with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

150 words

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in different years

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why this happened? What are the effects on society and family life?

smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?