IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#globalization #world #culture #identity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Globalization
Use synonyms
 has transformed many aspects of life because of how it enables
one
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 to be exposed to the other.
While
Linking Words
 there are a lot of activities that are accommodated by the positive impacts of
globalization
Use synonyms
, it is evident that
globalization
Use synonyms
 can destroy national identity to a certain degree. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the reasons and examples to prove
this
Linking Words
 issue. To commence with,
globalization
Use synonyms
 has made it possible for
countries
Use synonyms
 to connect with each other without barriers.
First-worldworld
Correct your spelling
First-world world
countries
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as the US, have a huge power in the global space, in which they are able to spread and even penetrate their
culture
Use synonyms
 to other
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 becomes a system,
that is
Linking Words
 a cultural hegemony, a concept of how a certain
culture
Use synonyms
 and ideology dominates the rest of society.
Thus
Linking Words
, the occurrence of cultural hegemony causes homogenization, meaning that the entire
world
Use synonyms
 has similar
values
Use synonyms
 and cultures. The first example of how
globalization
Use synonyms
 creates a
world
Use synonyms
 of
one
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 is fashion. Nowadays, there are almost no differences in how we dress up compared to the rest of other
countries
Use synonyms
. Wearing jeans and
T-shirt
Correct article usage
a T-shirt
show examples
 is way more common than dressing up with traditional clothes. Because of
globalization
Use synonyms
, the US fashion industry and its trends have expanded worldwide and changed how people dress. More specifically, it is spread through the forms of
globalization
Use synonyms
 forces,
such
Linking Words
 as media and entertainment. The second
one
Use synonyms
 is the concept of the McDonaldization of society. It is a term that explains how Americans penetrate their
culture
Use synonyms
,
values
Use synonyms
, and products. The visible evidence is how the American fast food chain, McDonalds, exists worldwide. If we look at
this
Linking Words
 issue deeply, it is not only about fast food brands and products, but it is
also
Linking Words
 about the
values
Use synonyms
, which are efficiency and instant living.
Therefore
Linking Words
, through
this
Linking Words
 concept, American
culture
Use synonyms
 has dominated the
world
Use synonyms
 and made the
world
Use synonyms
 homogenized. In conclusion,
globalization
Use synonyms
 allows nations to spread their
culture
Use synonyms
 to others.
However
Linking Words
, it is inevitable that only dominant
countries
Use synonyms
 can have the capacity to do so. Cultural aspects like fashion and
values
Use synonyms
 are influenced by these
countries
Use synonyms
.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, the rest of the
world
Use synonyms
 will be influenced by superior
culture
Use synonyms
. All things considered, a
world
Use synonyms
 of
one
Use synonyms
culture
Use synonyms
 is the result of
globalization
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aspfaradita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Use appropriate linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence.
Task Achievement
Provide a more balanced argument by acknowledging the positive impacts of globalization on national identity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: