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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to living in a big apartment building. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #apartments #apartment
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In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
rapid
Change the word
rapidly
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 changing world, a vast majority of individuals are going to
city
Add an article
the city
a city
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 and
live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in high-rise
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
. Some people claim that staying in
tall
Correct article usage
a tall
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 building has a number of drawbacks
such
 as it makes them unhappy and lonely
while
counterparts
Correct pronoun usage
their counterparts
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 argue that it has several parks.
this
 essay will delve deeper
both
Change preposition
into both
show examples
 these views,
analysis
Replace the word
analysing
show examples
 their benefits and drawbacks,
presenting
Wrong verb form
and present
show examples
 arguments and examples to
provides
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 a comprehensive analysis.
To begin
 with, there are various advantages
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in high-rise apartments.
Firstly
, individuals who are social
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 feel alone and sad because they are almost isolated from society. In
addion
Correct your spelling
addition
, they can not get an opportunity to interact with
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
show examples
 and spend
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
Furthermore
, they can not be a social person and contribute to societal well-being.
Consequently
, people are feeling more lazy, unsocial, lonely, and sad.
Conversely
, there are
also
 various advantages. first of all, a community
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
consider
Correct subject-verb agreement
considers
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 safety
likely
Add a missing verb
is likely
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 to live in that type of place. It offers more
secure
Replace the word
security
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 and peace to live.
Moreover
, individuals get a chance to spend precious time with their families
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 creates strong bonding with family members,
brings
Correct word choice
and brings
show examples
tranquility
Change the spelling
tranquillity
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 families, and
overall
 well-being. In conclusion, though living in
tall
Add an article
the tall
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 has some pros and cons, a huge number of
Add an article
the community
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 prefer to go to
Correct article usage
the suburb
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suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
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 and
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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 in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 apartment. Ultimately, they obtain nearly every opportunity to stay there
although
 they know that staying alone makes them
unhappiness
Replace the word
unhappy
show examples
Submitted by Abdul Asad on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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