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Writing Samples
Band 5

discuss the advantage and disadvantage of following the same diet daily or on regular basis

#advantage #diet #basis
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There is no denying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that the topic of consuming
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 is ubiquitous
due to
Linking Words
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 paramount importance across the globe. One school of thought opine that eating
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
numerous benefits
whereas
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 ,other reject
this
Linking Words
 notion and consider that many problems occur because of same.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on both perceptions before reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 conclusion. Initiating with the best possible benefits, controlled
inake
Correct your spelling
intake
 of the calories is
first
Add an article
a first
the first
show examples
 and foremost pro of eating
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
diet
Use synonyms
 as a
human-being
Correct your spelling
human being
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 can control
intake
Add an article
the intake
show examples
 of calories by consuming
food
Use synonyms
 that has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 calories on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis and that will help an individual to control the
body
Use synonyms
 weight.
Thus
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, it will help a person to lead a healthy life and it reduces the risk of obesity.
For instance
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, in
India
Add a comma
India,
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 most of the population
eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
show examples
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 which is
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
everday
Correct your spelling
everyday
every day
 and the rate of obesity is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 in
this
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 nation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 intake is
prominent
Correct word choice
important
show examples
 to keep
Use synonyms
body
Add an article
the body
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 healthy.
In addition
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,
this
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 habit saves money and reduces stress because there is no pressure
of choosing
Change preposition
to choose
show examples
different ingredients from various places to make different edible dishes.
Consequently
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,
this
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 routine proves beneficial for commoners. On the paradoxical side, there are many drawbacks as well.The first one is lack of nutrients as intake of
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 type of vegetables or meat could lead to
deficiency
Add an article
a deficiency
the deficiency
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 of particular
vitamin
Fix the agreement mistake
vitamins
show examples
 in
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
Use synonyms
. To exemplify, vegetables are rich in fibres and vitamins but
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fatty acids which can result in
underdeveloped
Correct article usage
an underdeveloped
show examples
 human
body
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, a balanced meal is crucial for a person.
Secondly
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, it is boring to consume
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 type of
food
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
hence
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, variety in
menu
Add an article
the menu
show examples
 is important.
As a result
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, distinct dishes would provide different nutrients. To recapitulate, without any doubt , it is a mixed bag. No doubt, numerous pros
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there yet,
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
 can not be ignored as well.
Thus
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, a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 should be a part of
daily
Add an article
the daily
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 in order to stay healthy.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to improve lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay more attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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