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Band 4

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

#celebrities #money #politicians #development
In our current society
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entretainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 and leisure
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very important for people,
therefore
,
celebrities
 undeniably represent a very important piece in
varius
Correct your spelling
various
 forms of amusement. Most
celebrities
 obtain
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
money
 from movie contracts, shows and public recognition.
Therefore
, the more people that know them, the more
money
 they get.
On the other hand
, politicians
also
reperesent
Correct your spelling
represent
represents
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important and outstanding part
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the country's management.
However
, they mostly get
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 salary from taxes and public funds. In view of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
varius
Correct your spelling
various
 factors to
concider
Correct your spelling
consider
, about the
diference
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
 in salary, the positive or negative implications is a matter of perspective.
While
celebrities
 are cherished. Politicians,
on the other hand
, are not as appreciated. Not only because
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 salaries come from public funds and taxes but
also
due to
 some politicians being
recogniced
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
 for
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 dishonesty. The aversion that most people have for country leaders
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it almost
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 to have a higher salary than
celebrities
 without any criticism. As mentioned before the positive or negative development
dependes entierly
Correct your spelling
depends entirely
 on perspective. The
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 criticism against political
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 has had
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a result the downward payment of government workers,
this
 can encourage criminal activities to compensate
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of
money
,
in other words
, it can
provoque
Correct your spelling
provoke
money
 laundering, stealing from national funds, etc. On the other
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
hands
Add a comma
hands,
show examples
celebrities
 can manage to produce
money
 faster. As time
pases
Correct your spelling
passes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 has opened doors for better
entretaintment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
, nowadays, just one video on a famous media
plataform
Correct your spelling
platform
platforms
 can have a revenue of a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
 thousand dollars.
To conclude
, it is important to manage
a
Change the article
an
show examples
equilibrum
Correct your spelling
equilibrium
 between different salaries.
Celebrities
 have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 income larger than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
politians
Correct your spelling
politicians
, which depending on the point of view presented, may be variable
beetween
Correct your spelling
between
 positive or negative results in society. As maybe can encourage
inappropiate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
 behaviour from government workers, or give
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much power to the entrainment industry.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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