The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.

The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.
The bar graph shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
rate
of having the
first
child in
Australian
women
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every 20
years
between 1966
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
2006.
Overall
, the
Australian
Correct quantifier usage
number of Australian
show examples
younger
women
who
gave
Verb problem
had
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
first
child
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rapidly decreased. By the way, the
Australian
older
women
who
have
Verb problem
were
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Replace the word
aged
show examples
age
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25-29
years
old and 30-34
years
old
were abruptly grew
Change the verb form
abruptly grew
show examples
.
To begin
with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
women
who have the
Replace the word
aged
show examples
age
under 19
years
old and 20 to 24
years
old
were dove
Change the verb form
were dived
were diving
show examples
down in
first
childbirth
rate
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
1966 to 2006. They were 30 per cent in the
age
range
of 19
years
old and under and 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in the
range
of 20-24
years
old, In 2006, they
were dove
Change the verb form
were diving
show examples
to 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and 30 per cent respectively.
On the other hand
, the older
Australian
women
who have the
age
range
of 25-29
years
old, 30-34
years
old and 35-40
years
old
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose in the
first
childbirth
rate
from 1966 until 2006. Especially, the
Australian
women
in 30-34
years
old who were dramatically rocketed from approximately 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 1966 to almost half of the
Australian
women
who
gave
Verb problem
had
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
first
childbirth
.
To sum up
, It was striking that the
Australian
women
who have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Replace the word
aged
show examples
age
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
19
years
old and under and 20 to 24
years
old
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined significantly
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
childbirth
rate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every twenty
years
from 1966 to 2006.
Conversely
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australian
women
who have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Replace the word
aged
show examples
age
between 25 to 39
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
considerably rocketed in the same period, especially, in the
age
range
of 30-34, which was the
age
range
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
growth
rate
.
Submitted by tah.siwakorn on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
â–Ľ
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
â–Ľ
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, first, australian, women, years, age, childbirth, range with synonyms.
â–Ľ
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
â–Ľ
Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
â–Ľ
Vocabulary: The word "rocketed" was used 2 times.
â–Ľ

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