The Chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making relevant comparisons.
The bar graph shows
the
information Correct article usage
apply
of
the Change preposition
on
rate
of having the first
child in Australian
women
in
every 20 Change preposition
apply
years
between 1966 to
2006. Correct word choice
and
Overall
, the Australian
younger Correct quantifier usage
number of Australian
women
who gave
Verb problem
had
the
Correct article usage
a
first
child were
rapidly decreased. By the way, the Unnecessary verb
apply
Australian
older women
who have
Verb problem
were
the
Correct article usage
apply
Replace the word
aged
age
in
25-29 Change preposition
apply
years
old and 30-34 years
old were abruptly grew
. Change the verb form
abruptly grew
To begin
with, the
young Correct article usage
apply
women
who have theReplace the word
aged
age
under 19 years
old and 20 to 24 years
old were dove
down in Change the verb form
were dived
were diving
first
childbirth
rate
since
1966 to 2006. They were 30 per cent in the Change preposition
from
age
range
of 19 years
old and under and 60 percent
in the Change the spelling
per cent
range
of 20-24 years
old, In 2006, they were dove
to 10 Change the verb form
were diving
percent
and 30 per cent respectively. Change the spelling
per cent
On the other hand
, the older Australian
women
who have the age
range
of 25-29 years
old, 30-34 years
old and 35-40 years
old were
rose in the Unnecessary verb
apply
first
childbirth
rate
from 1966 until 2006. Especially, the Australian
women
in 30-34 years
old who were dramatically rocketed from approximately 10 percent
in 1966 to almost half of the Change the spelling
per cent
Australian
women
who gave
Verb problem
had
the
Change the word
their
first
childbirth
. To sum up
, It was striking that the Australian
women
who have the
Correct article usage
apply
Replace the word
aged
age
of
19 Change preposition
apply
years
old and under and 20 to 24 years
old were
declined significantly Unnecessary verb
apply
on
Change preposition
in
first
childbirth
rate
in
every twenty Change preposition
apply
years
from 1966 to 2006. Conversely
, the
Correct article usage
apply
Australian
women
who have the
Correct article usage
apply
Replace the word
aged
age
between 25 to 39 were
considerably rocketed in the same period, especially, in the Unnecessary verb
apply
age
range
of 30-34, which was the age
range
that
theChange preposition
with
most
growth Correct word choice
highest
rate
.Submitted by tah.siwakorn on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, first, australian, women, years, age, childbirth, range with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.
â–Ľ
Vocabulary: The word "rocketed" was used 2 times.
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